“We’ve been looking for an hour, and I’m scared that rat’s going to come back.” There was a small pause. “Maybe this is the universe telling you that you should keep them. He gave them to you.”
Indie’s heart gave a little thump. Okay, it wasn’t little. It was a huge, gigantic thud that rattled her ribs. Ofcourse, she had to give the wedding and engagement ring back…they were Colt’s. “They were his grandmother’s. They should stay in his family.” She huffed when she got to the bottom of the box.
They weren’t here. They weren’t inside. They weren’t anywhere.
Clara rounded the boxes, finally coming into view. “I don’t think we’re going to find them this evening.”
Indie eyed the boxes they hadn’t been through yet. There were a lot. Too many for one evening. “You’re right. I’ll look again tomorrow.”
Clara’s brow furrowed. “Indie, I say this with love, but if he wouldn’t sign the divorce papers, what makes you think he’ll take the rings back?”
“It doesn’t feel right to keep them.” They stepped out of the shed, and she locked the door. “There are so many things we need to discuss. The rings. This house and our home in California.” She needed to adult up and just do it.
Clara nodded slowly. “Yes, but it doesn’t need to be immediately. You can leave it for a while. Give yourselves time to adjust to both of you living in the same town.”
When they entered the back door, Indie’s gaze immediately went to the folder from the IVF clinic. Before her sudden need to search for the rings, she and Clara had spent the afternoon eating Thai while looking through the information.
Clara lifted the folder. “You know you’re not going through with this, don’t you?”
It was true. None of it was sitting well with her.
She lifted her half-drunk glass of wine. “I thought Imightgo through with it, before I saw Colt. I just so badly want to become pregnant. And I know there are other ways to become a mother. I just need to really make sure I’ve exhausted this way first.”
“Youwillbe a mother.”
Unexpected tears built in her eyes. “You never think it will be you, you know. You see people struggle with infertility but that’sthem…until it isn’t.”
Clara squeezed her hand.
“Then,” Indie continued, “you commit to IVF and you think, this is it. Because it’s supposed to be what gets you your baby…and then it doesn’t.”
“It got your hopes up.”
“Every round, we did something different, and I told myself, ‘This is the one.’” She swiped a tear from her cheek. “I’d start calculating due dates and planning where the bassinet would go. And every time I’d either test or just eventually get that call that we weren’t pregnant, it hurt. It hurtso much.”
“Come here.” Clara pulled her into a hug, and Indie let more tears fall. Tears of sorrow for every failed round. For the baby she craved with everything she had but never got.
It was only the ringing of a phone that had them separating.
Clara lifted her cell. “It’s Holden. He’s here to pick me up, but I can tell him—”
“No. I’m fine. He’s here to take you home; go be with him.” She swiped the last of the wetness from her cheeks.
Clara looked at her, worried. “Are you sure?”
“Of course. I’m sorry I got upset.”
“Youneverneed to apologize with me. Okay? Besides, crying’s good for you.”
“I love you.”
“Back at you, cuz.”
They hugged one more time before Clara left. She knew Holden would be at the door, but she didn’t go out there. He didn’t need to see her puffy red eyes.
After tipping the rest of the wine down the drain, she turned off the lights, then went to her bedroom to change into an oversized T-shirt that she wore to bed…one ofColt’sold T-shirts. She’d stolen it back in senior year. It was that old. So old that the material had gone stretchy and sections were almost see-through.
She lifted her phone and scrolled down to Colt’s number. Her finger hovered over his name. She wasn’t sure why. Maybe because sometimes she just craved his voice. The ability to speak to him about everything and anything.
