Jesse turned as one of the deputies tilted his head toward the door. He looked back at her and squeezed her thigh. “I’ll be right back.”
The second he left, it was just her and Holden. There were so many emotions she probably should have felt at being alone with Holden, but after the day she’d had, all she could feel was safe.
He sat beside her on the couch, his gaze boring into her, his muscles looking big and tense. “I’d like to stay with you.”
She swallowed, wanting to say yes. Wanting this man to remain by her side and keep her safe.
But then what? He would leave in a week when Jesse solved the case? Where would that leave her and her heart?
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She rose and took her hot cocoa to the kitchen, where she set it in the sink. She didn’t hear Holden behind her, but she was aware of him. His heat. His strength.
A lot of people would argue that they couldn’t feel strength, but with Holden, it was everywhere he went.
“Clara—”
She turned. “You broke up with me.”
Pain cut across his face. “I know. It was a mistake.”
“No. A mistake is forgetting to turn on the dishwasher after you fill it. It’s leaving the house without your phone or forgetting to set an alarm for the morning. Breaking up with me because I had aviruswas you running scared, after you promised you wouldn’t. It was intentional.”
His eyes were so dark, they almost looked black. He stepped forward, and she moved back, needing the distance between them.
This time, it was hurt that flashed through his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
His words were quiet. And God, they sounded genuine.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he continued. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the person you needed me to be.”
She swallowed and looked down, her fingers tightening on the counter behind her to stop from touching him. Drawing him toward her.
“Let me be better,” he whispered, taking another step closer. “Let me prove to you that Icanbe better.”
A mixture of hope and need snuck into her chest, teasing her with the idea that she could trust him. “What happens if I say yes, and I have another health scare? Or I get hurt or something really bad happens?”
“I’ll be with you the entire time, by your side.”
She wanted to believe him. She really did.
He lowered his mouth to her neck, but before his lips could touch her skin, she whispered, “Don’t.”
He paused, his head lifting just enough for her to see his eyes. She could still feel his breath on her skin.
“Why not?” he whispered.
“Not here. Not now.”
His gaze flickered between her eyes. “Okay. Not now. ButIwillearn back your trust. For now, let me stay. Let me be close so I know you’re safe.”
She closed her eyes, the feel of him, the smell, making her body sway toward him.
“Okay.” The single word came out as barely a whisper. “But on the couch.”
“Thank God.” He touched his forehead to hers.
She closed her eyes, letting his heat seep into her. They remained exactly as they were until Jesse stepped back into the house.
“Did you decide—” Her brother stopped.
