He swallowed hard, his throat so dry it felt like sandpaper. “I am.” Two words, and they both hit so hard they almost knocked the breath right out of him.
“So it’s too late to turn back. You’re already in too deep. If you break up with her, you lose her anyway.”
Holden’s fingers tightened around his beer, that familiar panic gnawing at his skin. “I shouldn’t be this scared.”
“I’ll tell you something very few people will admit. Loving someone—reallyloving them—is scary as hell. You become vulnerable. And you have to be okay with that person having a level of control over you. But you gain so fucking much.”
“How do I get past this?”
“You show up. Even if you’re scared. You show up and you stop running.”
Hehadbeen running. He’d been running from this thing between him and Clara for so damn long that he was exhausted. Could he ever stop?
He lifted his gaze to the forest around him. “After today, she might not take me back.”
And he wouldn’t blame her. She’d had a cancer scare and he’d made it about himself. Right now, he should be looking after her.
Jesse laughed, and this time there was some real humor behind it. “Wearetalking about the same person, right? Because my sister loves you. And yeah, depending on what you said to her before you left, you might need to put in some work to earn her trust back. But shelovesyou.”
“And love conquers all? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Hell no. I’m saying Clara always gets what she wants, and she wants you.” Jesse rose and took the keys from Holden’s fingers. “I’m going inside. I’m going to make sure you eat before I leave.”
Holden watched his best friend go into his house. He rose slowly, but the weight of the day still felt heavy.
Jesse was right. It was too late to run. Hedidlove her. And he needed to man the hell up and love her the way she deserved to be loved.
CHAPTER 23
“How are you doing?” Indie asked as they walked down the street. “And don’t tell me fine if you’re not.”
Oh, Clara definitely wasn’t fine. A week had passed since she and Holden had separated. Every day she woke up, expecting the pain to ease and things to feel easier—they didn’t.
“Not too good.” She frowned down at her sweet tea. They’d grabbed drinks from The Tea House, but Deb had been there and the woman talked a lot, and Clara hadn’t really felt like talking so they’d gone for a walk. She needed to get out and move anyway. “He’s been calling and texting every day to check in, asking if we can talk, but after the way he left, I just need some space.”
Her mother and Indie had been amazing over the last week. Making her meals. Staying over. If it wasn’t for them, she’d probably have drowned in self-pity by now.
“What if he wants to tell you that he made a mistake and wants you back?”
Yearning and fear competed inside her. “What about the next time I have a health scare? Will he just desert me again when I need him most? He already promised me once that he wouldn’tleave, and he did it at the first opportunity. I need a partner who’s going to stick around during the hard times, not just the good.”
Indie reached out and squeezed her arm. “I’m sorry. Do you want me to drive over to his place tomorrow and kick him where the sun don’t shine as penance for being an idiot? Because I will.”
Clara chuckled, and it felt good to laugh. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Why? Because he’s former special forces? You forget, I was married to a Marine. I have skills.”
As if mention of her husband had conjured the woman, Sylvia Reed, Colt’s mother, walked around the corner.
Indie stopped in her tracks. “Sylvia.”
“Indie, what a surprise.” She glanced at Clara. “Hi, Clara.”
She gave the older woman a tight smile. “Hi.”
“How are you?” Indie asked politely.
Sylvia was a short, thin lady. She came from old money and looked the part. Her hair was always perfect, clothes expensive, and there was always jewelry—today a pearl necklace and beautiful pearl earrings.
