“I wanted to see you.” The sincerity in his eyes is killing me. “I’d sent a few letters…” he lets out with a question in his voice.
Yes, I’d received a few letters with no return address, but whether they were from the Zenith Foundation continuing to tell me about my immoral, anti-feminist choices, or about Devo, the man who left me among the press and my floundering feelings, I hadn’t wanted to know. Before Mariah saw them, I’d thrown them away. Instead, I’d googled his name and scanned the results just enough to see that he was seen at studios in different cities up north. Boston and then Portland, Maine. He was clearly busy, and so was I, I’d decided.
Thus, my release.
“When John told me you were having an exhibition, I knew I’d find you here.” Despite my attitude, his eyes sparkle. “He’s actually been asking after your influencer friend over there.” He points to the far corner of the room, where John watches an overly enthusiastic Harper converse with two lithe and beautiful brunettes.
“I think he has a bit of a crush, actually,” Devlin says, scratching the back of his head. “And so do I?—”
“I don’t know what you could possibly want from me,” I cut him off with a hiss. This was a level of venom I didn’t think I had anymore. But instead of stepping back, Devlin leans in.
“I’dwanted,”he emphasizes, “to take you to dinner.” I freeze. At this point, his head is so close to mine as he searches my eyes,I worry that Anton will come back to claim what’s his. I purse my lips and step back.
“I’m taken,” I say stiffly. Then I jump to include, “I’m assuming you’re not asking me as just a friend.”Why did I say that?My cheeks must be cherries at this point. I was never good at holding my pride inside.
Devlin laughs in a way that unwinds the tight cords around my heart. It reminds me of when I’d met him at McArthur’s and the carefree air he’d exuded then. It was intoxicating... and it still is.
“No, Charlotte. I wasn’t planning on asking you as a friend.”
I look between his amused eyes and shrug. “It’s too late,” I whisper.
His eyes harden at that. “My mistake,” he says in a gruff tone. The amusement is gone. He jerks his chin at Anton’s back, a few yards away. “Is it serious?”
Now it’s my turn to be amused. “We, uh”—I fidget with one of my silver earrings—“only started seeing each other a few months ago. It’s new?—”
Devlin nods thoughtfully. “Do you respect him?”
My eyes widen at his new question. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I stutter. Close my mouth and try again. There’s a correct answer to this question, and I can’t find myself able to share it. Instead, I just look at him with steely eyes, my shoulders tight and my lips drawn in a thin line.
He watches my every reaction, like I’m laid bare on the canvas again, but this time I don’t feel as safe. He gives a solitary nod, as if I had, in fact, given him an answer.
“Beautiful earrings, by the way,” he says, running a finger up to one of the silver drops. When he draws his hand away, he allows his forefinger to whisper along the curve of my jaw. A shiver wracks my body and I try not to let him see it. I fail.
“I’m going to be in town for a while,” he says in a soft tone. “I’d love it if I could take you to coffee one day, asfriends,” heemphasizes.
I shake my head back and forth instinctually before I realize it. Then a “sure” bursts from my lips. Anton would never allow it. Devlin squints at the misdirection but then he smiles. His lips soft and full against his sun-kissed skin.
“I’m always up for a challenge, Charlotte!” He sweeps me into a friendly hug and then steps away. “Congratulations on your collection.” He gestures around us. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I know”—his eyes rove the space—“but it really is... undeniably lovely.” He looks directly at me. For a moment, I’m entirely captured by his gaze. It feels as if he’s trying to communicate through a look alone. Then the corner of his lip sneaks up and his gaze transforms from penetrative to conspiratorial. “This one’s my favorite.” He points at the wrists tied with the cream and yellow scarf. “And I think Anton’s wrong. I think it does fit the theme.”
My blush now extends to my ears, but I don’t go to cover it, and I don’t break our stare until I can’t stand it anymore. I look down at the ground away from us, wondering how to escape this interaction. Before I can determine a parting line, Devlin does the honors.
“I can see I might have stirred up some unwelcome emotions.” His hand moves toward my lowered chin, but then I see him think better of it and move it back toward his side. “And for that, I’m sorry. I will leave you to have your big night.”
I nod in acquiescence, still looking down.Finally, he’s going to leave me alone.I don’t know how much longer I can hold any kind of mask in place.
“I’ll send you a note, if you’ll reply this time,” he says softly. “I mean it about the coffee.”
I snap my head up. “I can’t always be waiting for you by the mailbox!” I say. “I don’t have time for people who only communicate through archaic means.” I wave my purse in the space between us.
Instead of laughing at my outburst, Devlin seems to considermy words seriously. “Noted,” he says. “I’ll have John be in touch, then.”
I roll my eyes. So many barriers. Why does he think he’s so special? I draw in a breath and bring my shoulders back, pulling myself together.
“Well, goodnight then,” I say, chin up once again. He nods with a smile and then I turn away.
Mariah is three feet from me, staring. Her hand is at the base of her neck. Finally, a friendly face. I clip toward her, ignoring my desire to slouch which could be a gateway posture to curling up in a ball on the floor.
“Is that him?” she breathes. I nod.
