Austin thrashed in his chair. “Leave her alone.”
Felix silenced him with a lazy wave while Flynn’s tongue slid over my chest, licking up the grape juice with obscene precision.
My thighs trembled despite myself, and the knife pressed firmer against my skin—a silent command to stay still.
“Ah, see?” Felix bent in to breathe in my ear. “Even now, you bloom for us, Poppet. Fear, guilt, hunger, desire, it’s all the same tree. And tonight, we’ll make you taste every fruit it bears.”
I don’t know how Flynn switched his hold on the blade or when, but when his hand slipped under the bowl balanced on my thighs, the handle of his weapon bumped my clit. I tried desperately to stop the spark of euphoria that shot through me, and I might’ve been able to if I didn’t feel the knife handle press inside me.
It felt so good that I had to bite my lip to stifle a moan. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to be this person anymore, except my body didn’t care. It liked this. It wasn’t Flynn pumping the handle in and out of me that it got off on. It was the depravity of it.
The blood staining the Mime’s shirt, the danger in Felix’s smile, Austin tied to the chair, forced to watch my violation, and how I might meet my end at any moment. All of it heightened the pleasure coursing through me.
I tried to fight it. Told myself that I wasn’t this person anymore. I wasn’t the girl who watched videos of people dying while her boyfriend fucked and her sister drowned in the pool. I wasn’t the woman who couldn’t stop herself from climbing on top of the man whose throat she slit. That man deserved to die. I didn’t smear his blood over my body while I rode his cock.
That was someone else. Someone who died when she did. She was gone, and I only let her come back once, when I killed the man who hurt my sister. She would never come back again. I wouldn’t let her.
“Stop lying to yourself, Poppet,” Felix murmured in my ear. “She was never gone.”
I shook my head and resisted the urge to arch my hips into Flynn’s thrusts. My pussy ached for more. The sloppy sounds of my desire filled the air, but I refused to give in. I fought with everything I had. I fought so hard that my entire body began to shake. It was torture, and Felix was enjoying every minute of it.
He leaned in and dragged his tongue up the side of my neck. “You feel her, don’t you? Her pleasure. Her clarity. Not despite the danger, but because of it. Be honest with yourself, Poppet. Admit who you really are.”
No. I wouldn’t. I wasn’t her.
Flynn twisted the handle inside me while flicking his thumb over my clit.
I could feel that dark need clawing inside me. It was right there, waiting to consume me. And I so wanted to give in.
“Why are you doing this?” I hissed out through gritted teeth.
Felix propped his elbow on the table next to my head and dropped his chin in his hand. “Why, to feed on your anguish, of course.”
“This isn’t anguish.”
It was torment.
“Isn’t it?” Felix asked. “Anguish comes in many forms. For some, it comes with pain. For others, sorrow. But for you… It comes from living.” He reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “Every breath you take is filled with guilt and shame, because you’re still in this world, and she isn’t.”
Every word he said was true. And that truth still couldn’t stop the need from coiling deep inside me.
“Just kill me already.”
“Careful, Poppet. If you smile too long at death, he might smile back.”
Who cared? I wanted death to smile back. Any dream I had of having a fulfilling life died with her. Now, I just wanted to be done. If I gave in just once and angled my hips, maybe the knife would cut me, and I’d bleed out.
“You sick motherfuckers!”
My eyes snapped over to where Austin was trying to fight his bindings. He barely knew me, yet was so desperate to save me. I couldn’t abandon him to these psychopaths. I could fight a little longer and do one good thing before I left this world.
Felix’s smile sharpened as his gaze slid down to the head of the table. “Ah, I see. You think he’s your penance.”
“He’s suffered enough.”
My statement seemed to anger Felix. The smile fell off his face as he grumbled down at me, “Has he?”
“Let him go, and I’ll do whatever you want.” I’d be their star, or serving platter, or fucktoy. They could use me however they wanted. I was already damned. But Austin was innocent.
