I need my bestie and coffee. Now.
As soon as I hear the front door click shut I hop out of bed rushing around the room to find my clothes from last night. Haphazardly I pull on all the clothes I find in my path before sneaking downstairs and praying his truck is already gone.
I peek out the window seeing his spot in the driveway empty and thank my lucky stars. Ripping my keys off the counter I run out to my truck like I’m some kind of criminal in my own house.
What the hell is wrong with you?
The dust cloud left behind by my truck is telling of how fast I want to get out of here. But what am I hoping for? Do I want Jess to tell me that I’m wrong and it’s all him? Or am I hoping that she’ll agree with me, that I have a part in my marriage going to shit?
I pull into the first spot I see outside of Buckles and Brews. Which, given the time of morning on a Sunday, is sparse for what a non-ranching town would experience at six in the morning.
Shit. That means it’ll be busy. At least I can have a donut while I wait for her.
Or three.
When I walk in she immediately makes eye contact with me and her eyebrow almost hits the ceiling with surprise.
I roll my eyes in response.
She waves me around the counter to help myself.
Our silent communication is greatly appreciated at such an early hour pre-coffee. Filling my cup with her pistachio cold brew, I add some sweet cream and grab four donuts. I can pretend some are for her when she gets a break. Ms. Patti delivers her tasty treats before most cowboys are up for the day and that says a lot about her sleep schedule. It’s as messed up as mine.
I wonder how she and her husband, William, make it work. Maybe I should ask her for help. But that would be baring my soul to the town, not just Ms. Patti. That makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
By the time I’m half-way done with my refill Jess finally comes over with a lull in the line.
“Girl. Two coffees and four donuts? What the hell happened after you left last night?”
“I slept with him. And then actually slept with him. Then pretended to be asleep as he kissed me on the cheek before leaving.” I get out in one breath, shoving my fifth donut in my mouth.
“Okay… and?” She raises a brow in confusion. I don’t keep going, waiting for her to connect the dots. “He’s your husband, you had sex, and slept in the same bed as your husband?”
“Yes! Exactly!” I toss my hands in the air.
“Listen. I want to be supportive. I really do. But I’m going to need you to walk me through this, boo.”
“It wasn’t just his fault. It was mine too. And I was feeling guilty, then we slept together and it all felt so right, but our whole relationship is still so fucked. I just… love him.” Tears well in my eyes.
“I’m going to hold your hand while I say this.” She reaches out across the table to physically hold my hand. “You are in fact married to the man. Getting an orgasm from your incredibly sexy husband is totally fine. And it’s also totally fine to admit that you hold part of the responsibility. Did you tell him that?”
“Well not in so many words. What if he’s mad at me? I left, then I let him stay in the bunkhouses, I lectured him about all that he needed to change, and here I am not admitting my own faults.” I drop my head to rest on my arm.
“Baby. I love you. You’re my soul sister. But you can’t honestly think that he doesn’t already have his own laundry list of your faults. He’s just doing damage control. He won’t mention those until he knows he’s back on solid footing.”
“We’re going on a date tonight. The steakhouse in Bozeman and dancing.”
“Okay then! Perfect! You can have a good conversation over dinner, clear the air and then go dancing!” Her excitement is evident in the higher pitch of her voice.
“Or… he could leave me in Bozeman.”
She chuckles, making me lift my head to look at her. “Good thing you have a best friend who would come pick your sad ass up.”
“Ugh. Why are you so logical?”
“Only when you need me to be.” She slides her chair over next to me and pulls me in for a hug. “You got this. Need me to work for you?”
“No. I’m going to close the bar. I won’t get it cleaned up and ready in time to open anyways. Fucking Black Key assholes.”
