Serving up two bowls of chili, I carry them to the kitchen table, serving her.
“Cal, this smells so good. Thank you for cooking.” She looks up at me smiling.
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you came. I’m not going to lie, I was nervous. Like this is our first date, and not our seventh year of marriage.” I chuckle, awkwardly taking my seat that I’ve sat in next to Juliette since we moved in.
“It is a little awkward isn’t it? I didn’t know what to wear. I had about seven outfits laid out and I berated myself a little because you’ve seen me naked. Why did I care? But I did.” Shrugging, she digs into her food.
“You would look like the most beautiful woman in the world no matter what you wore.” I hold up my beer, waiting for her to hold up her glass of wine with me. “Here’s to awkward first dates with my wife.”
She giggles at the equally awkward toast, my intended effect.
Despite how we both felt at the beginning of dinner, it was nice to connect with her. I took advantage of the fact that she would always be here. I didn’t take the time to appreciate her while she was here. I didn’t take the time to talk to her about our days, or what we both have going on.
I had no idea she was toying with the idea of selling her home brew beers at the bar in small batches. She’s never been confident enough to even let anyone try them if they knew it was her beer. She always lies and says it’s just a small batch we picked up somewhere.
I think Jess and I are the only ones who know she brews her own beer. And it’s dang good. I’m proud of her for taking the leap.
The cheesecake was a hit too. We demolished half of it, foregoing plates and just grabbing two forks.
Now, we’re stuck trying to figure out how we end this date. If it were up to me she’d climb those stairs and crawl into our bed with me.
“I was thinking, you should move back here. I can stay in the guest room, or move into the bunkhouses. It’s not fair that you’re camping in the office of the bar. And I don’t like you being there at night alone. At least on the ranch I know you’re safe, and I’m close.”
“Cal. I don’t think it’s a great idea that we live under the same roof right now. Living together is our problem, it’s the wedge between us.” She fidgets with rolling the napkin between her fingers.
“Okay, so you come home and I’ll move into the bunkhouses. I just want to know you’re safe so I don’t spend a majority of the night wondering what’s going on or if you’re okay.”
“Are you sure? The bunkhouses are… something.”
The bunkhouses are like frat houses. Constant drinking, and full of young kids. So no, I’m not sure. I want to be here with mywife, holding her in my arms in our bed instead of in a small twin size shitty bunk. But if it makes her life better, I’ll do it.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Won’t be my first time staying in there.”
“But you’re not a nineteen year old kid anymore either.”
Ain’t that right. My back cracks like a glow stick every damn morning and I can only imagine how bad it’ll be now.
“I’ll be fine. You move home tomorrow. Need any help? I can swing by in the morning with you to help you get your stuff home. I’ll pass off some chores onto the guys.” I extend my hand out across the table, hoping she’ll take it.
“I’ll be okay. I’ve got the same amount of stuff I left with.”
“Right.” My hand is still empty so I pull it away.
“I should get going though. I’ve got a delivery coming early tomorrow morning.” She stands, gathering her things and walking halfway through the kitchen before looking back to see if I’m following her.
“Sure. I’ll walk you out.” I follow her to the door where she stops just outside to slip her boots back on, and I slip on my shoes to go out to her car with her.
We walk silently, but I press my hand into the small of her back, letting the warmth of her body soak into me.
Keeping in line with the awkward teenager feeling of the night we both stand at her driver’s door in the driveway. Stalling and dancing around the question of whether I should kiss her or not.
I take a step toward her and she doesn’t back away so I take that as my invitation.
My lips press to hers, my hands left in the pockets of my jeans. I don’t trust myself to touch her and stop at just a kiss.
“Drive safe, babe. Please text me when you’re back so I know you’re tucked in.”
She nods, “Okay.”
