Walking by him, I push the door open.
“Want to go walk down by the river?” he asks, unsure of himself.
“Really trying to drown out the conversation, huh?”
“I just thought you’d want that. You want me to go back in there? Declare what a sorry piece of shit I am?” He stops dead in his tracks.
“No, Calvin. That’s not what I want. I was just joking.”
Are we really here where he doesn’t even know that I’m joking?
He joins me, walking side by side in silence. My hand itches to reach out and lace our fingers together. His own hand keeps bumping into my thigh before he snatches it back.
“I don’t even think I’m sorry will cut it this time,” he starts.
“Sure as shit won’t. You embarrassed the hell out of me last night. And you got blood on my floor.”
The floor we tirelessly installed together, spending hours together joking around and fucking on every surface as we went. Those Wranglers don’t mess around and when he bent over, I couldn’t help myself.
“I know, babe. I’m so fucking sorry. I just couldn’t stand it. He was touching you all damn night and you didn’t have your rings on and then he…” I cut him off with a death glare. “You’re right. None of that excuses my behavior.”
“At least we can agree on that.” My shoulders sag. “But I kind of get it. When those girls were hanging around your table I wanted to rip the extensions off that one girl if she touched your arm one more fucking time.”
“What girl?”
The fact that he genuinely doesn’t remember the barely twenty-one blonde practically throwing herself at him makes my insides melt. He’s always been oblivious. Even when it comes to me apparently.
“Don’t worry about it. Point is, I get it, but I didn’t act on it.”
We reach the riverbank, walking up the small sandy beach.
“I know. Let me make it up to you? I’d really like to cook you dinner. We can talk about everything. But I just…I can’t do this. I’m fucking miserable without you. Sleeping without you joining me in the morning, without your scent from the shower filling the bedroom, the quiet. Fuck, babe. The quiet is so deafening.” He turns to face me, taking my hand in his. “I love you so much and going on without you feels like I’m going to fucking drown second by every slow fucking agonizing second.”
“The sheets don’t smell like you. It’s hard to sleep.” I admit quietly.
He pulls off his hoodie, then reaches behind his neck to pull off his tee.
“Here. You can have it to sleep.” He holds the tee out to me, and I take it tentatively.
“You’re giving me the literal shirt off your back?” I take the moment he puts the hoodie back on to stare at the abs I love to lick.
Ugh. Squeezing my thighs together I pull my willpower to stay strong back to the forefront.
“I’ll give you whatever you want, just say yes to dinner. Please?”
Inhaling his signature scent from the tee, I relent. “Okay. Dinner tomorrow.”
Jess won’t care that I cancel on her. I hope.
A grin spreads across his face. The one I remember from when we were kids. The one that spread right before he kissed me for the first time at fifteen. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Suddenly my feet are leaving the ground and I’m being spun around. His strong arms squeeze around my middle before he drops me back on my feet. So quick that I’m not ready for what he does next.
His hands lace around my neck, tangling in my hair to pull my face up to his. His tongue pushes my lips open in a sweet sensual kiss.
My body betrays me by melting into his, my lips parting to give him the access he wants. Within seconds I’m moaning into his mouth.
