Emilia
Yep. Wanna come over? I’ll show you the baby’s room. We just finished setting it up.
My heart tugs. This is exactly what I need.
Fiona
I’d love that.
Emilia
Finally. Get your ass over here before I change my mind.
The smallest smile bends my mouth. I close the texts and head to the closet to retrieve my shoes, then walk back out to my car.
The drive doesn’t take more than fifteen minutes before I arrive on their private road. The Marinov estate sits at the end of a winding road flanked by trees in a deep forest. Men in dark clothing allow me through the gate as I ease my car forward.
After sliding into a spot beside the driveway, I climb the cobblestone steps, angelic white columns greeting me as I ring the bell.
Inside, the foyer gleams with polished white marble and a chandelier so massive it looks like it could crush a person if it ever decided to fall. Emilia meets me halfway across the floor, her arms open and her grin wide.
“So glad you came,” she says, pulling me into a hug. Her small belly presses against mine.
I can’t believe she’s going to be a mom.
“You look beautiful.” I step back to take her in. “How are you feeling?”
“Pretty good. Just tired all the time. And you?” She links her arm through mine and pulls me into the den. “Tell me everything.”
I let out a sigh as she leads me to the den, where we lower ourselves onto the white leather sofa. A lit fireplace crackles in the corner, a tray of tea and cookies resting on the coffee table.
“I’m fine. Everything’s good.”
I’m not sure why I’m lying. Maybe because the truth is harder to digest.
“You’re fine, my ass. I know that face. You’ve got something bottled up so tight, it’s practically vibrating through your skin. So talk.”
My lips twitch despite myself.
She softens, reaching out to brush my hand. “Come on, Fi. You know you can talk to me.”
I stare into the fire, muscles drawn tight, and then it all comes out.
“I don’t know what the hell is going on with me,” I whisper. “I never wanted to feel this way.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “But it’s like I can’t stop it, you know?”
“Feel what?” She scoots in closer to me.
“Aleksei. He’s never home, and I’m supposed to be relieved, you know? But I’m not.” I let out a dry laugh. “It’s like he went from total psycho to kind of sweet to completely distant just likethat. Every day, I wake up in that house and he’s not there. Every night, I go to sleep wondering where he is. Who he’s with. And I shouldn’t care. God, I shouldn’t care.” I grip my hair in a tight fist. “But I do, Emilia. And I hate that I do.”
Emilia says nothing, just lets me talk.
“I hate how empty that house feels. I hate that I’m starting to notice the way my chest tightens when he’s not around. I hate that I look for signs that he was home while I was asleep, like some idiot sniffing pillows.” I shake my head at myself.
What happened to me?
Is this what she felt when she first got involved with Konstantin? Because she tried to resist him. She didn’t want him. But now they’re married and she’s happy.
Can I have that? Could I even let myself have it with someone like Aleksei?
