He glanced upward as though he’d find her hovering above him with a pair of angel wings and a halo. Instead, he only spotted his ceiling, and he returned his gaze to the odd text.
Was this some sort of sign that he should meet with Raven?
He pondered it for another second before a knock sounded at his door. “Yeah?”
Julia poked her head in. “Hey, Alex, you’re awake. Did you see my note?”
“I did, thanks. I was just about to text and ask if you wouldn’t mind bringing some food up to me. I’m sorry, I’m just not up to sitting around the dinner table just yet.”
“Aw, well, we’ll miss you, but we certainly understand,” Julia said with a nod. “I’m just a little worried about you having to eat all alone. How about if Kyle or I join you?”
“It’s really okay,” he answered. “I’m just not up for company, really. Especially with Grant. I’m sorry. I know you love him, Sunshine, but…”
“You’d like to grieve privately. I get it. It’s okay. I’ll bring you some food, spend a little time with you, and you can kick me to the curb when you’re ready.”
He pressed his lips together into a grateful smile. “Thanks, Sunshine. You really are the best.”
With a soft smile, she bobbed her head and left him behind. He immediately returned to his display, staring at the message, his heart pounding.
The urge to get to this meeting overcame him. He didn’t know why, but he took the words as some sort of sign of what he should do. Maybe Raven could help him avenge Ava’s death.
But how could he get out of the house? Kyle and Julia would never let him go alone. But Raven’s first message had said to come alone.
He fretted over it until the door popped open again. Julia pushed inside with a tray filled with a variety of foods. “I didn’t know what you’d feel like eating, but I put a little bit of everything, and you can just pick at what you want.”
“Gosh, Julia,” Alex said with a smile, “this is really nice of you.”
He didn’t have much of an appetite, but he needed to eat. Especially if he was going to engage with Raven. He did hisbest to stuff down a sandwich and some Jello as she sat with him.
She didn’t bring up anything about Ava or her funeral, instead, focusing on a sparing amount of light conversation about who prepared the food.
“Thanks, Julia,” he said again as he pushed the tray away. “I actually feel a lot better. Well, not better…I mean…I’m still…”
His features tightened as he struggled to find the words, grief clouding his thoughts.
“I know, Alex,” she said, gently rubbing his arm. “But the food will at least give you some strength, I hope.”
He pressed his lips together with a bob of his head. “Yeah. I’m…trying. It’s not easy. I just want to curl into a ball and not face anything.”
“I know. When our parents died, Ally and I felt the same way. It’s hard, and grief is something that leaves a lasting mark. It doesn’t ever really heal, it just gets easier to deal with.”
The words made his stomach twist into a tight knot. He didn’t want things to get easier to deal with. He didn’t want life without Ava to be easy to deal with.
With a hard swallow, he nodded. His voice trembled a little. “I’m pretty sure this is going to leave a real painful mark.”
Julia squeezed his hand, her features pinching. “I know, Alex. I’m so sorry. Nothing I say is going to make it any better, but you’re not alone.”
“I know. And I’m really grateful that you’re all right downstairs. I just…right now, I need some time so I’m not a blubbering mess.”
“It’s okay if you are,” she said. “We all understand what you’re facing. We’re not going to blame you for falling apartat even the slightest thing. I know that with my parents, a laundry commercial got me.”
“Gosh, Sunshine… I’m so sorry that you lost them both at such a young age.”
“Yeah,” she said with a slight smile. “Thanks, Alex. It’s still hard, even today. I mean, things happen, and you don’t get to share it with that special person. You know? Like, my mom never saw Alicia get married–or me.”
Alex nodded as he thought of all the things he’d never experience with Ava. No more kisses, no more beach walks, no more Christmases. He couldn’t even sneak onto her webcam to see her.
He’d lost everything. And he wasn’t certain how he would deal with that.
