I shook my head. “I do though. I need to do this. For me. For You. Us. And for Merlin. I need this closure.” It wasn’t that I needed to see my parents face-to-face to have closure. It was just what I’d chosen to do. I knew I was perfectly safe. Maxwell was here with me, and I wasn’t going to be manipulated by my mother again.
It would do nothing to call out my father. He hadn’t done anything to stop our mother before, so why would he suddenly start? I knew he was going to be at the meeting, but I honestly didn’t care one way or another. He was here. I was here. I would see him one last time. He’d done nothing when she’d…been manipulative and controlling.
“Are you certain?” Maxwell asked. “They’re not here yet. We can still leave and send them a message.”
“I don’t know. I thought about writing her a letter, but what good would it do? The last one did nothing. She spammed my phone for weeks. She still tries with all of her new email addresses she keeps making.” We had turned on my old phone,and it had taken entirely too long for the messages to download. The voicemails ranged from begging to unhinged. Charles had said that she eventually gave up on him, but it took several years. He’d stopped checking his old email address and had completely deleted the account associated with it. They had moved three times in two years.
I shook my head. “No, I don’t need to do this. We can go back home,” I told Maxwell.
“We can go if it is what you wish.”
“Yeah. I want to go home. I thought I wanted to do it this way, but I don’t. She doesn’t need me to tell her how shitty of a parent she is because she’s not going to listen anyway.”
Maxwell wrapped me up in his arms, and one moment, we were standing in a park in Bangor, and the next, we were back home in Montana.
“I love you,” I told him. “Thank you for being so supportive.”
Maxwell smiled down at me and kissed my forehead before he pulled me into a hug. “You’re welcome. I love you and will always support you.”
I snuggled into Maxwell’s chest and took a deep breath. His scent was calming to me. It was other things as well, but at the moment, he brought me peace.
“We should go find your papochka and thank him for watching Merlin for all of five minutes.”
“He’s in the nursery, most likely still in the glider he was in earlier.”
I didn’t blame him. Those were amazing gliders.
“I’ll let you go talk to him,” I said. “I’m going to be in the office for a bit.” Maxwell gave me a look, and I shook my head. “I’m fine. I just want to get my thoughts down. I need to.”
Maxwell smiled. “Understandable. I’ll be close by if you need me.”
“I always need you,” I told him. Maxwell grinned down at me before he turned and went toward the stairs. I watched him until he was out of sight, and then I slowly went to the office.
I thought about my conversation with Charles. He was surprised that I was mated, but happy for me. But he’d asked that I not share anything with our parents. I’d let him know I had just completely cut them off, and that’s when the story had come out.
The begging. The unhinged behavior. She would show up unannounced frequently. She would try to overrule him and Anne when it came to their children. Their final thing was when she tried to leave their house with their son. That was when Charles packed them up and moved the first time. They’d had to move two more times before they finally felt safe.
Then there was Caleb. He had a similar story. Only she didn’t try to take their baby. She had. Alex was recovering from a difficult delivery, and our mother had stopped by to visit. She’d taken the baby to the living room to feed him, she said, but she didn’t stop there. Thankfully, Caleb’s inability to hear our mother or the baby had him searching for them. He found her in the driveway still, but the baby was just lying in the back seat. No car seat, no blanket, nothing.
Our mother was unhinged.
Carson and his mate didn’t even give her a chance. Carson had cut her off before Maria had their twins. Carter didn’t talk to our mother for all of the same reasons. That was why we had left Merlin here in Montana. I never should have suggested we go to begin with.
I opened my laptop, and after opening a new email, I sat and stared at it for a moment. What did you say to the woman who’d given birth to you? Who couldn’t let go. Couldn’t be an amazing grandmother because she had no identity beyond being a parent. What had happened?
Mother,
I write this not to offer peace for you, but to give a final response. I want no more contact with you or Father. You are not healthy. We’ve all known this for some time. You need professional help. You have now driven away six of your eight children. Maybe all of us, but I’ve not talked to two of my brothers recently.
It doesn’t matter. I’m done. I’m finished. There will be no more contact. You can stop calling the phone number. It’s been disconnected. I will be deleting my email account in the next week or two. I won’t be checking messages though. I won’t read any reply you may or may not send because I’m not going to see it.
I am happy. Truly. Not that you want that for any of us. I know what actual love is. Healthy, selfless love. I have that, and it’s glorious. I’m sorry you and Father don’t. I see that now. But you need help, and I don’t want to be there beyond saying this.
You don’t deserve to be in our lives. You need to find a purpose, but you won’t. I’m better off without you. I have so much less stress. I sleep through the night. I don’t cringe when the phone rings.
So this is my goodbye. I’m going to go live my life to the fullest with my mate and the family we’re going to create.
Camden
