“I’m here, Kash.”
The hallucination was so realistic. Haidyn and the guys saw their loved ones being tortured and killed. I see my dead wife alive.
I don’t know how many days it’s been since I tried to kill myself and my gun let me down. It was a sign that I don’t deserve such a quick death. I should suffer like my wife did. So I’ll spend the rest of my days rotting here all alone.
My hands drop to my sides, and I feel something wet next to me. “What the…?” I trail off when I see a spot of blood covering the dingy sheets. I run my hand over it and then rub it between my fingers. It’s fresh.
I pat myself down, looking over my torso. I’ve got blood on my chest, arm and ribs. I run my fingers through it to see if I cut myself, but there’s nothing there. Maybe it’s from the guys who beat me up in the bar, but that was a while ago. Or maybe I did shoot myself, and I’m just slowly bleeding out over time.
Getting out of bed, I stumble to the bathroom to clean myself up and come to a stop. My heart begins to pound in my chest at what I see.
My wife stands in the shower. One hand is pressed on her upper chest while her forehead rests against the wall. A steady stream of blood trails down her body before washing away in the drain.
As if she feels eyes on her, she looks up at me. A soft smile graces her lips. “I’m fine. I promise.”
“Eve?” I blink, trying to decide if I’m fucking high or dead.
“I’m fine,” she repeats and takes her hand away from her chest,stumbling back.
I rush into the shower and place my arms under her, picking Eve up. Pulling her out from under the sprayer, I carry her to the bed and lay her on it. I pick up a shirt from the floor, wad it up, and press it to her upper chest where I see the blood pouring from.
She tilts her head back, and a blood-curdling scream leaves her trembling lips.
My hands shake and my brain tries to focus on what the fuck I’m doing.She’s not here.This is a hallucination. She’s going to die over and over again. But a different way each time.
This is my hell. A damnation.
“It’s okay, angel.” Even in my hallucination, I lie to her. “You’ll be okay.” All I can do is try and keep her calm.
Her watery eyes go to the door of the motel room. “Adam.” She swallows, trembling on the bed. “Get…Adam.”
Her color is starting to whiten as the shirt in my hands soaks up the blood. “He’s not here, angel,” I tell her. I’m going fucking crazy. This is it. If I don’t kill myself soon, the guys will find me and lock me in a padded room at Carnage.
I don’t know what significance my hallucination would have to Adam. Maybe it’s the fact that he also left me. It’s her reminding me that I’m alone. But I chose that this time. I had Haidyn and Saint, and I still left them by choice.
“He’s…here.” She’s gasping to breathe. “Out…side.”
Knowing it won’t do any good, I still find myself walking over to the door. I open it up to see a truck parked right in front of my motel room. The driver’s side door swings open and Adam jumps out. “What’s wrong?” he demands, eyes looking over my naked and blood-covered body.
I stare at him, blinking. Confused.
“Move.” He shoves me out of the way and rushes into my room. “Goddammit,” he hisses, going over to her.
“I’m okay,” she tells him, but her face is turning ghostly pale.
“Put some fucking clothes on,” he snaps at me. “We have to get her to Carnage. Thankfully it’s not too far.”
“I—”
“We have to fucking move,” he shouts, picking her up and carrying her out to the truck. “Let’s go.”
I quickly throw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt without bothering with my boxers and shove my boots on untied and without socks. Then I’m running outside and jumping into the back seat where he’s laid her down. I pull her into my arms. She’s limp, just like she was while I sat on the cathedral floor and rocked her back and forth, begging her to come back to me.
I close my eyes and whisper, “It’s just a hallucination.”
“It’s fucking real, Kash,” Adam barks, speeding down the road while “Hold On” by Chord Overstreet plays through the speakers.
I shake my head. “My wife is dead,” I say, holding her in my arms. Her eyes are closed, but she’s breathing. I can see her chest moving with each breath, and I’ve got one finger on her thready pulse. She’s still naked and covered in blood once again.
