“I don’t want to talk about it,” she interrupts me, just like earlier.
“I think we should.”
“No.” She stands and the water sloshes around.
Getting out, she grabs a towel, but I wrap my fingers around her upper arm, pulling her to a stop. Water and bubbles run down her body to pool at her feet. “We’ll figure something out.”
She yanks her arm from my hold and stumbles back before righting herself. She’s had more to drink than I thought. “What the fuck does that mean? Figure what out?”
“Adoption.” I step into her, not wanting her to fall and hurt herself. This floor is slippery when wet. “We’ll have kids, Eve.” I saw the look on her face, and I know how much regret she has. Bringing a kid into the Lords is doable. Plus, they won’t be blood related, so the Lords won’t force them to be initiated. “We’ll give them the childhood that we wish we had.”
“No.” Eve shakes her head. “We’re not adopting. You want kids, have them with someone else.”
I know what she’s doing. She wants to start a fight. Wants to push me away. It’s her way of coping with the choices she was forced to make.
“You’re my wife,” I grind out. “I’m not going to be fucking anyone else, let alone have a child with another woman.”
She snorts as if that’s unbelievable. “Give it time.” Turning, she gives me her bubble-covered back and starts to exit the bathroom, but I grab her messy bun and yank her back before spinning her around and pinning her to the door with my hand around her neck. “Kash?—”
“Drop the attitude, angel,” I growl.
She huffs, and I can smell the liquor on her breath.
Loosening my hand, I run my fingers down her chest, smearing the bubbles across her smooth skin. “I know you’re upset.” I soften my voice, and her eyes harden. “But I’m not going to cheat on you. I love you.”
Eve slams her hands into my chest. I take a few steps back to give her some space. “I don’t know why,” she grinds out.
“Why what? Why I love you?” I frown.
“No one loves a whore.”
“You’re not a whore.” This is what years of grooming does to someone. I have no problem constantly reminding her that she has worth. I will devote my life to it.
“I begged you to fuck me that night on theIsabella, Kash. You said it that night yourself…I was about to be raped but threw myself at you instead.” She drops her eyes to her bare feet. “That’s what a whore does.”
“You were confused,” I argue.
She shakes her head. “I knew what I wanted.” Her eyes glance up at me. “But that was then, and this is now.”
“Exactly—”
“This is forever,” she whispers, staring at her ring. “I don’t want you to resent me in five, ten, fifteen years.” Her watery eyes plead with mine. “I won’t be able to live with you not loving me.”
“I’m always going to love you, Eve. Until the day I die.”
She licks her lips and glances away. “I don’t deserve your love.” Her watery eyes glance aimlessly around the bathroom. “I don’t deserve any of it.”
“You deserve the world, Eve, and I’m going to give it to you. Anything you want, it’s yours.” I don’t care what it costs me—money or my life. I’ll gladly pay it.
“Our fathers…”
“Are dead,” I interrupt her. “They can’t hurt you anymore.” Taking her face in my hands, I force her eyes on mine. “You know that, right? That I’d never hurt you, Eve. Not like they did.” I’m human. So I can only imagine that I’ll hurt her along the way somehow, but what our fathers did to her? Never. I want my wife to have a normal life. To have freedom as long as she’s safe. I take a step toward her, and she matches it, pushing her back into the door.
“I let them ruin our future.” She sniffs. “I let them take everything from us.”
She couldn’t have fought them and won. “You were just a child, Eve.”
“They didn’t treat me like one,” she admits, and my chest aches for my wife. Her bottom lip starts to tremble before she nibbles on it. “First time they raped me I was fourteen. I didn’t even have my first period until I was fifteen. You would think they’d know how that works…” She trails off, and I allow her a second to collect her thoughts. “Saint’s father stayed away from me for the most part. He rarely paid me any attention.” Her voice is soft, and I have to strain my ears to hear her. “Adam’s did the same. I think they both knew I wasn’t going to get pregnant. But my father wouldn’t give up…” She drifts off. I’m not sure if it’s the conversation or the alcohol. Maybe a mix of both.
