I turn around to see Janice has entered the room. I give her a smile. “I love it.”
“Anything can be changed.”
“No. Really. It’s perfect.” I don’t want to disappoint her or cause her to think her efforts aren’t appreciated. I look up to see Kashton step into the room. He crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the doorway, staring right at me. I turn my attention back on her. “Thank you. For everything.”
She gives me a smile and then pulls me in for a hug. I awkwardly wrap my arms around her before she steps back. “This is your home too, Eve. You are welcome here anytime.” With that, she gives me her back, and Kashton steps to the side as she walks out and closes the door softly behind her.
He strolls over to me, and I shuffle from heel to heel. I hate feeling like this. Out of control. Not knowing what to say or do. But I seem to always feel like this when we’re alone.
Once he reaches me, he cups my face, forcing me to look up at him. “Why didn’t you tell me your birthday just passed?”
I lick my lips nervously, not sure how to answer. I already said all that needed to be told downstairs.
“Eve?”
I drop my hands to his jeans and undo his belt and then his button before lowering his zipper.
“You’re deflecting.”
I look up at him and bat my eyelashes. “Don’t you want to christen my bedroom?” I grab the hem of my dress and pull it up and over my head and then shove my underwear down my legs and kick it away. Standing in front of him with nothing but my heels on. He loves it when I leave them on.
He groans, his eyes running up and down my body. His hands drop to my hips, and he pulls me flush to him. “You’re not playing fair,” he whispers, digging his fingers into me.
“You’re not playing with me at all,” I counter, giving him a sly smile. This is what I want to be. His mindless sex toy. “Now…bend me over this bed and fuck me. Then we can go back downstairs and hang out with your cum leaking from my pussy.”
“Whatever my wife wants.”
SIXTY-SEVEN
EVERETT
Ifinish applying my lipstick in the bathroom before I pull my dress on. Exiting the room, I make my way downstairs. My feet slow when I catch sight of the grand foyer. Kashton stands by the front doors with Sin.
Coming to a stop, my chest begins to ache watching my husband hold a baby. Kashton softly sways from foot to foot with the little guy passed out in his arms after his feeding.
Kashton smiles down at the baby before looking up at Easton. Their lips are moving, but I can’t hear what they’re saying over the blood rushing in my ears.
All I can think of is that I took the option of being a father away from him. He’ll never know that feeling—that kind of love—as long as he’s with me.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I’ve never hated myself more than I do now.
I hate my father for the life he had planned for me. Fuck him for the choices he made me make.
Ellington gets my attention by walking up to them. “Thank you,” she tells Kashton, holding out her arms for her baby.
“Anytime,” Kashton assures her.
And that pain intensifies. All his friends are having children. How long will he wait before he decides he wants one? How long will the Lords wait before they force him to have one with whoever they choose? A Spade brother can’t just decide to not have children. It doesn’t work that way.
Look at Charlotte. She was given fertility drugs without her knowledge to get pregnant. That’s why she’s having triplets. And Ashtyn. She’s having twins. Possibly by her husband and her rapist. The Lords don’t care what they have to do to get their way. They will kill or walk over anyone to get what they want.
“It was good to see you, Eve.”
I blink when Elli speaks to me. “You too.” I look away when I catch Kashton staring at me. Did he see me watching him? Does he know what I was thinking? Of course he does. I wear my emotions all over my face, and he’s always watching. He pays attention to my every move.
“We should do lunch soon,” Elli offers with a smile.
Nodding, I agree, “Just let me know when.” It’s weird to go from nothing to a family and friends. It’s overwhelming and yet confusing. I also don’t want to put others in danger because I’ve come around to the idea of not being alone all the time.
