My only response is to stare at him.This is for your own good, Kash.I’m not worth it.
“Why… If you saw me, why didn’t you say something to me?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck, confused.
“You were busy.”
“Busy?” He snorts. “I’d never be too busy for you.”
“You were practically fucking Jasmine by the bathroom.” I hated watching him with her, but it was better than the alternative. I knew they had dragged Ashtyn from Vegas. Adam put me on a plane and sent me here to follow them for him. I knew if Kashton saw me, it’d be over, and the guys would drag me back with them to Carnage. I couldn’t let that happen.
His frown deepens. “You were at Hooke’s show? I don’t…understand. What were you doing there?” His jaw sharpens, and he looks away from me. He snorts and answers his own question. “You were following Ashtyn.” Running a hand through his hair, he growls. “Fucking Adam.” When he gives me his back, I swallow nervously. Having to give him up will be the hardest thing I’ll ever do. “Why didn’t you say something to me?” he growls.
“Jasmine—”
“I would have dropped anyone or anything for you,” he shouts, spinning around to face me. “I told you she meant nothing.”
I snort. “We’re not going to pretend like you were pining away for me. Let me guess…you’re a man with needs, and she fulfilled them.”
“No.” He shakes his head, glaring at me. “We’re not doing that.” Kashton points a finger at me.
“Doing what?” I feign innocence. “Pretending that we were each other’s first?”
“Pretending that you’re not trying to sabotage us,” he snaps.
My throat closes up, and I look away from him.
“It’s not going to work, Eve. I won’t let it?—”
“Maybe I’ve changed my mind. What if Bill hasn’t filed the license yet?” I glance back at him, shrugging carelessly. “I no longer want?—”
“Stop, Eve,” he barks, interrupting me. “We’re fucking married. This isjust a formality.” Stepping into me, he runs his warm hands up and down my shaking arms, his eyes intently staring into mine. “You haven’t changed your mind. You’re doubting yourself.”
Tears sting my eyes. How does he know me so well? It’s not fair.
“You’re doubting your worth.”
I step back and look away, but he grips my face in both of his hands. “You are more than enough. You’re my angel.” His eyes soften, and I blink rapidly. “My beautiful, angry angel.” Letting go, he steps away to leave the bathroom.
“You don’t regret me?”
His eyes meet mine. “No.”
Those butterflies I always get when he speaks take flight in my stomach. “It’s never too late to change your mind,” I add.
I’m really trying not to lose my shit, but I’m afraid I don’t have high hopes.
He steps back into the bathroom, removes his hands from his pockets, and cups my face. They’re warm and feel like home. I feel safe when I’m with him, and I refuse to let the Lords ruin that because I know they’ll try again.
“Angel, I would have married you that day I saw you on the yacht if you had not run from me,” he admits, his eyes searching mine.
Kashton leans in and kisses my forehead before he steps away, giving me his back.
I step forward with a knot in my throat, but he deserves to know what he’s getting into. “I can’t give you a family, Kash.” He turns back to face me. “Do you understand that? The Lords will want you to have children.” I’ve told him this several times, but he just keeps brushing it off. He needs to understand that all I’m bringing to the table is anger issues and crazy mood swings. He’s a Spade brother. I’ve seen them try to rip everyone I know apart to get what they want. We won’t be any different. We’re not special.
“Everett”—he takes my left hand, running his thumb over my ring finger—“we’ve talked about this. You’re going to be my family. You’re all I need.”
“You don’t want kids?” I spilled my past to him the other night but never asked what he wanted. Honestly, we should have had this conversation long before now. Lords are required to reproduce. I can’t give him that.
“I want you.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. Letting it go, he places both hands on my face. I love when he touches me. Kashton is a hands-on person, and that’s something I love about him. He can never get enough, and I swallow it up as much as I drink alcohol. “As long as I have you, I have everything.”
