“Doubtful,” I argue. “Tell me. Why a butterfly?”
She looks away to stare at the ceiling. “They represent change. A new beginning. I wanted a different life for so long. Bill gave me that opportunity. I promised myself I would never try and take my life again.”
“There’s nothing stupid about that,” I tell her.
Eve laughs softly and I frown. “After I got it, I went back to my place and cried. I thought it would give me hope. Make me someone I wasn’t. It didn’t. All it did was cover up the truth.”
“And what was that?” I wonder, tracing the dark wings.
“That I was a worthless whore.”
My fingers pause, and my teeth grind at her answer. “That’s not true,” I growl, meeting her stare.
“No matter what I try to cover up, the truth was always going to be there. You can’t erase your past. No matter how bad you want to.”
“The truth…” I pause and watch her eyes grow large with worry about what I’m going to say. “The truth is that you’re a survivor, Eve. There is nothing stupid or worthless about that.”
Looking away, she swallows. Taking a deep breath, her eyes find mine again when she speaks. “Have you ever felt free?”
I tilt my head at the change of the conversation. “Free?”
She licks her lips. “The first time I ever felt free was the night on theIsabella. For two weeks before the party, Evan wouldn’t allow anyone to touch me. It was a dream, really. No beatings, no toys, no sex.” A smile tugs at her lips. “He wanted time for my bruises to heal. I had to be the perfect doll.” She looks away. “Anyway, that morning we flew to New York. A woman came in to do my hair and makeup. I was given a dress to wear. I felt like a princess. I was speechless. The yacht took my breath away. The ocean was endless. It was breathtaking. The sun on my face. It was the first time I was allowed to drink alcohol.” My hand slides up to cup her face, and she turns slightly to look at me. “I saw you standing there and thought,Wouldn’t it be nice to talk to a stranger?To have a conversation with someone who didn’t want to fuck me?”
I swallow because that’s exactly what I had thought when I was with Saint and saw her on the deck.
“I wanted to jump off the yacht and swim in the ocean, but I didn’t know how to swim then.” She laughs at herself. “I imagined that I was there with my husband—a Lord who wanted to show me off to his colleagues, knowing I’d be going home with him. No one would touch me. No one would hit me, and no one would rape me.” She swallows. “And when I saw you again, I had to speak to you. Then, like a trained whore, I threw myself at you…”
“Stop, Eve,” I interrupt her. “Stop being so hard on yourself.” She didn’t know any better.
She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “I…I just wanted someone to notice me.”
“I did,” I tell her, and she looks away from me. “Did he hurt you?” Her eyes find mine once more. “After you left the room? Did Evan hurt you because of me?” I already know the answer to this because Bill told us she was beaten when he found her. And if I’ve got the timeline right, he didn’t save her until after the party on theIsabella.
“I ran into him, and he was mad.” She licks her lips. “I told him that the Lord was dead. I was on my knees, hugging the toilet. I felt sick after I let you touch me. Evan was yelling…I don’t remember much after that. He drugged me.”
I sigh, running a hand down my face. “I could have saved you. I would have helped you had you just said something to me.”
She gives me a sad smile. “You wouldn’t have stood a chance against Evan.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know he had unlimited resources and a lot of powerful Lords on his side. Dollhouse was unstoppable, Kash. As much as you wanted to help, you had limits. Plus, my father knew I was there. You going up against your father’s brother wouldn’t have done any of us any good.”
I might not have been a Lord, but I would have done anything for her. And I know my brothers would have helped me. “Then what happened?” I ask, needing to know.
“Like I said, it was a blur. I woke up in a room. No longer on the yacht. It looked like wooden paneling—a cabin maybe…there was yelling coming from another room. Lots of it. I hurt everywhere. Worse than I ever had. I was in and out of it for a while. Then when I woke up, I was in the hospital room with Bill and Gavin.”
The picture that Bill showed us of her secured to the hospital bed with a patch over her eye. She looked like she had been beaten. Evan had hurt her because of me. I fucked up his plan that night and someone had to pay. She was his victim. His easy target.
She leans over onto her side and places her hand on my chest. She pushes me back, and I roll over, bringing her with me so she straddles my hips.
“I’m here now, Eve.” I push her wild hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “And I promise no one will ever touch you but me. Do you understand that?”
She gives me a smile and leans over, bringing her lips close to mine. “I do.”
FIFTY-SEVEN
KASHTON
