She doesn’t answer. Instead, her eyes go back to the running faucet.
“What about my mom, Eve?” I dig, needing her to explain. My mother has been dead for quite some time. When would she have seen or spoken to her?
She sniffs. “I had an imaginary friend. Isolation will do that to you…make you see things that aren’t there. She was so pretty.” A smile tugs at the corner of her lips. “Golden blond hair that flowed down her back. Big eyes. They were so bright.” Her voice drops. “The prettiest thing about her was that she never had any bruises. Her skin was so vibrant and…perfect. I wanted to be her.” Sighing, she licks her lips. “She and I would play in the basement.”
I stiffen, knowing my mother was caged down there.
“When we would go down there, there was always a woman. She looked cold and hungry. I wanted to help her…set her free, but she never would let me. Told me it was too dangerous. That she was where she was meant to be. One time, I was down there with my imaginary friend, and my father caught me. Threw me in the cell across from hers. It wasn’t long after that I heard someone new join us in the basement. It was you.” She pauses and I swallow. “You gave her a brownie…” Eve drops her head to look at the water. “Your father found you, dragged you to the elevator. That’s when she spoke to me. She said, ‘He’s a good boy. Not like them.’ I didn’t believe her because I didn’t think people were born bad. I thought ‘Just give him time…they’ll change him.’”
I run a hand down my face and take a deep breath, wanting her to continue but giving her time.
“Your father came back, opened her cell. He started to beat her. He didn’t know my father had thrown me into the cell across from her. He unlocked my cell and removed his belt.” Her shoulders start to tremble. “He tied my wrists together with it and shoved me face-first into the cell door, using the rest of his belt to secure my hands above my head to the bars. I had to stand on my tiptoes. Your mother yelled and begged him to not rape me. He didn’t, but he…did other things. Once satisfied, he shoved open the door and slammed it shut, leaving me hanging there. Your mom sat on the floor of her cell, hands wrapped around the bars, sobbing. He walked over and spit on her before he left us alone.” A tear runs down her cheek.
I wipe it away and realize my hand is shaking.
“I managed to untie the belt from the bars, and once I was able to sitdown, I used my teeth to undo my wrists. Your mother cried. She just kept saying, ‘He’s a good boy. He’s not like them.’ Then she…” Taking a second, Eve sucks in a shaky breath. I know what she doesn’t want to say. My mother killed herself. “Then there was just…silence. It must have been morning when you came back down. Your father told you she was gone. You started screaming for her.”
My heart thunders in my chest as I begin to comprehend what she’s telling me. Everett was the girl huddled in the corner of the cell across from my mother. She was right there in front of me. I could have saved her, but my focus was on finding my mother who was already dead. I should have saved Eve.
“I remember thinkingI’ll do that one day. I’ll get the chance to end it. The only difference is no one will scream for me. No one will miss me.”
Her watery eyes meet mine. “I’m sorry, Kashton. It’s my fault…” Her eyes redden. “It was me that night…she ended her life because of me.” Sniffling, she goes on. “I took her from you?—”
“No.” I reach out and cradle her face in my hands. “It’s not your fault, Eve. None of it was.”
She nods her head and I shake mine. “No. My mother…” I sigh. “She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. She made that decision.”
“Because of me.” Eve begins to cry. “It’s my fault…everything is my fault.”
“Stop. Stop, Eve,” I say firmly to get her attention. Her watery eyes meet mine and she blinks rapidly to clear her vision. “Quit blaming yourself, angel. My mother…” I’m not sure what to say to her. She felt she had no other choice. To her it wasn’t a life worth living. But I can’t say that to Everett, because she’s tried to end her life twice.
Eve blinks, fresh tears falling from her bottom lashes. “She would be proud of you, Kashton.”
My stomach knots at her words. Eve is wrong. My mother would be ashamed of who I’ve become. As hard as I tried not to become my father, I did. The woman sitting in front of me is proof.
It doesn’t matter how many videos are sent to me; I’m not letting her go. She may not physically be in the basement chained to the wall with a collar around her neck, but I’m going to make sure she is chained to me for life. I’m going to make her my Lady.
“Come on,” I order, standing and helping her do the same. “I’ll dry your hair. Your soup is going to get cold.”
EVERETT
I’ve been locked in Kashton’s bedroom for a week. The only fresh air I get is when I sit out on his balcony like I am right now.
It’s not a warm day, but it’s also not cold. I’m wearing one of his hoodies while drinking a bottle of water. I’m craving a fucking drink. Jessie keeps me fed, and Kash—well, he hasn’t left my side.
He’s hovering, and it’s obvious he doesn’t trust me. He made that very clear when he had Devin knock me out to stitch up my leg for the second time.
We haven’t fucked. He hasn’t even touched me, really. He gives me baths but doesn’t join me. We sleep in the same bed, but he doesn’t make any advances.
I’ve either scared him, or he no longer finds me attractive. I’ve become the useless trash that no one wants. Not someone like him anyway. Just the ones who pay to fuck you when they’re in the mood.
I wish he’d just kick me out of Carnage. Send me away. That would be easier to accept than this.
He’s also fighting with Haidyn. I’ve heard their hushed conversations in the hallway while they think I’m asleep. Haidyn wants me on medication. He thinks I’m suicidal. I was at one point, but I don’t want to die today.
I refuse to take medication. It’s why I don’t do drugs. They would probably make things easier. Help blur the memories. But that’s what the Lords did to me at Dollhouse, which is why I refuse to take anything. For so long, I’ve tried to convince myself I’m not the same woman, but maybe I am.
Kashton thinks I’m broken. Haidyn thinks I’m a danger to myself. I think I’m fine. We can’t all three be wrong. Someone has to be right. The question is, which one of us is it?
