Haidyn sighs. He feels guilty. Responsible for her life. He wishes he’d known she had existed so he could have helped her, but would it have mattered? There were so many Lords working against her for so long. I’m not sure it would have made any difference.
“How do we help her?” he asks, cutting the silence.
That’s a good question. “I’m not sure.”
“Therapist? Psychiatrist?”
“Not one the Lords control,” I answer. “And I fear one who isn’t part of our world wouldn’t understand what she’s been through.” I refuse to let her end up in a padded room, drugged out of her mind.
“There has to be something,” he says through gritted teeth. We all feel helpless right now.
“I’ll take care of her,” I assure him.
He turns to face me, and I think he’s going to argue. Tell me that I’m not good enough for her. I’m not. If I were a good man, I’d let Bill hide her away. In a place I wouldn’t even know about. I’d let her go with Adam and be dead to the world. But I can’t. The thought of her with anyone else makes me physically ill.
“I can’t let her go,” I tell Haidyn and look at Bill. “I love her.” Her father needs to understand how serious I am about my request to make her my Lady. This isn’t a game. I’m all in. Whatever it will cost me, I’ll pay; and I’m not talking about money.
“She’s suicidal, Kash.” Haidyn huffs. “She had a knife to her neck. We both thought…” He can’t finish that sentence. “We just watched her tell him to shoot her.”
“Yeah, well, I remember a time when we thought you were suicidal.” I once found him with both wrists cut, bleeding out on the floor. Saint and I made a deal with the Lords to keep him from being a prisoner here. The Lords don’t like it when you try to take control of your own life.
“But I wasn’t. I was set up,” Haidyn snaps. “That’s the difference. She has tried it. Twice. And tonight?—”
“She didn’t cut herself. We just watched proof of that.” Evan cut her inner thigh when she head butted him. I’m not sure if he meant to hurt her or if her quick movement caused him to do so.
“She admitted that she’d hurt herself before she would allow him to touch her. And that’s enough to be concerned,” Haidyn growls.
“Because she felt she had no choice.” I let go of her hand and stand. “You saw the tape that Bill showed us. What he did to her. She thought she had two options—let him rape her or kill herself.”
“That feeling doesn’t just go away,” he snaps. “She needs protection. Twenty-four-hour care.”
I snort. “You sound like you want her on drugs.”
“If that keeps her alive.” He shrugs.
“Boys,” Bill says, but we ignore him.
“I’ve known her for six years. You just realized she exists. You’re not going to take over her life.” I don’t care if she hasn’t been a part of my life that entire time. She is now, and that’s what matters.
“I—”
“Boys,” Bill barks, and we both turn to him. Sin, Ryat, and Saint all stand behind him. I thought they’d left. “Maybe take this somewhere else,” he offers.
“I’m not leaving her.” I plop back down next to Eve and take her hand once more.
Haidyn storms out of her room and Saint sighs, following him. Ryat quietly exits, but Bill and Sin linger. I know what Elli went through. That she overdosed and almost died on him when the Lords forced him to hurt her. I know how much he still blames himself. Ellington is a different person now, though, and they’re happily married. Eve and I can be the same way. It’ll just take her time.
“Can you get Devin for me, please?” I ask Sin. “I want her moved to my room.” She deserves privacy, and I’m going to give it to her. I’ll lock everyone out so she can get the rest she needs.
“Of course.” He turns and exits.
I look at Bill. “When I went to you and demanded that you pull strings so I can marry her, you made a big deal out of her being a founder.” He swallows, knowing where I’m going with this. “Adam went to speak, and you interrupted him to tell me she’sdifferent. He was going to tell me that she’s the child of a Spade, wasn’t he?”
I knew it had to be more than just a founder. When I compared her to Elli, Bill insisted that she was different. I should have fucking known. There were signs that I chose not to see.
“Yes.” He nods.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I growl.
