I arch my back, rubbing the tip back and forth. I need to get off and clear my head. A run isn’t going to be enough.
My breath catches, and my hips buck. “Fuuccckkkk.” I moan as I come in my underwear. I’m not one of those women who comes very hard—not until Haidyn. I was sixteen the first time I got myself off, and I was so disappointed. All my friends said how amazing it was. Earth-shattering. Not for me. But Haidyn has gotten me off twice now with just his fingers, and I was seeing stars both times. I can’t imagine what he can do with his mouth and dick.
Turning it off, I toss it to the floor and stop the recording. I stare up into my dark room, listening to my breathing evening out. My mind is a fucking mess.
It’s been six days since he was sitting in my kitchen, where I handed myself over to him. He said he’d be back to collect me infive days, and I’m on pins and needles waiting for him to arrive. A Lord is never late. They are known for keeping their word. So I know he’s doing this on purpose. He wants to keep me on edge and make me sweat.
I’ve told everyone I’m going away for a vacation. Backpacking across Europe sounded stupid but believable. I figured most of my friends thought I was crazy. One, I don’t do the outdoors, and two, I’m going alone. A few of them even offered to join me. I only told my mother that Wesley is going with me. He thinks I’m going away on a girl’s trip. So many lies that they are all going to figure out if they talk to one another. I feel like any of them finding out will be better than me denying Haidyn what he wanted.
And now I’m not sure how I’ll keep up with the facade on social media. I’m not one of those who posts everything I eat or drink. Or when I go out. I’m also not big on selfies. But who knows how long I’ll be gone. A few days? Weeks? Over a month? Spending that much time alone with Haidyn terrifies and excites me. He did say to tell all of them that I wasn’t going to have any cell service, so maybe I won’t have to post anything. Just a few text messages here and there. I can Photoshop myself into any type of picture and send a selfie. I laugh at that thought. I doubt I even get phone time.
Getting out of bed, I make my way to the kitchen. Turning on the light, I come to a stop when I see a glass of water and a pill on the island.
My heart picks up as I slowly step closer. Coming to the edge, I look it over. It’s small and round. The hairs on the back of my neck rise, and the air thickens, making it harder to breathe.He’s here.“You’re drugging me?” I ask, my tongue heavy and mouth dry.
He steps up to my back, the roughness of his jeans rubs against the back of my exposed thighs. A hand snakes aroundmy waist, spreading flat on my stomach, while the other wraps around my neck from behind, making my pulse race. “If you’re asking me if I’m going to hold you down and force a pill down your throat, the answer is no. I’m giving you a choice.”
The thought makes my stomach knot. It doesn’t sound any better. “A choice?” I whisper.
“You’ve always got a choice, doll face.”
“There are worse things than dying,” I say, trying to calm my breathing. It’s so loud I’m practically gasping.
“There are,” he agrees. His hand tightens on my neck, restricting my air.
I rise on my tiptoes and croak out, “Hai-dyn.”
He loosens his grip, and I look down at the pill. I toss it into my mouth without giving it another thought and take a drink of the room temperature water. No going back now unless I want to shove my fingers down my throat, and I’ve always hated vomiting.
“Good girl.” His deep voice praises me, and I whimper.
Letting go of me, he turns me around. His hands grip my thighs, and he lifts me onto the island, leaving my legs dangling off the edge.
He steps between them. His hands slowly run up my legs to push my T-shirt up in the process. My eyes are on his, but he’s staring down at my underwear.
“Did you enjoy coming to the recording of what I’m going to do to you?”
My stomach drops, and his eyes lift to meet mine. He’s been in my house, watching me. I should have known there was a reason he’s made me wait to come get me.
A smirk graces his lips. “You’re so beautiful when you come.”
My throat closes, tongue heavy. I’m not sure if it’s the way his blue eyes watch mine or the pill kicking in so quickly.
He pulls my ass to the edge of the island as he steps forward, closing the small space. His hands run up over my hips to my waist. They skate over my ribs, and I lift my arms above my head so he can remove my shirt. He tosses it behind him, and his eyes drop to my chest. I’m gasping for fucking air. It’s embarrassing really. My nipples are hard, and my skin is covered in goose bumps.
“So fucking beautiful,” he whispers as if in awe.
I blink my heavy eyes. “Haidyn?”
“Yeah, doll face?” He looks back up at me.
I have so many questions. What are you going to do to me?Whatever he wants.How long will I be a prisoner at Carnage?That’s up to me.
All of a sudden, I feel it. My skin flushes, fingers tingling. My lips part, and he cups my face, tilting my head back even more. I stare up at him through hooded eyes. They’re the prettiest blue—dark and mysterious. I’ve been obsessed with him since I first saw him on my computer in the Lords' emails. I was doing as much research as I could on my assignment. It was all over when I saw him at our first session at Carnage. I just didn’t know it then. The way he walks, the sound of his voice, the way he stares you down. It’s like a lion watching its prey. Ready to attack.
Heat rushes in my face, and I wonder if I’m blushing or having hot flashes. My body leans into him, and his eyes drop to my parted lips. “Kiss me,” I whisper, needing to feel them on mine. I want to know what it feels like for him to willingly want me before he turns my body against me. Because I know I’ll give this monster anything he wants.
His eyes search mine before he lowers his lips. I open for him, letting him have control. He’s soft, delicate as if I’m setting him up for something. I try to lift my arms to touch him, but I can’t feel them.
