I’m pulled onto my back, and I place my eyes on the ceiling as one of them shines a bright light into them. I’m not even sure I could talk if I tried. My throat is too sore from all the sobbing I’ve done. Can you run dry? Like you cry so much that you can no longer produce tears?
I think the worst part is the unknown. It’s been seven days. Even if they find Haidyn, how will he feel about me now? Adam said Haidyn gave himself over for me. Why? We could have had a chance, but he wouldn’t listen to me. Now, what am I supposed to do with my life? It’s meaningless without him in it.
“Nothing,” Adam barks. “I’m telling you to do something.”
“Haidyn wouldn’t want…”
“Haidyn isn’t fucking here!” Adam shouts, interrupting Gavin. “I’m telling you to do something. She’s hurting herself.”
“I say let her do whatever she wants.” Kashton sounds amused. I wasn’t even aware he was in the room. “We don’t force the prisoners to eat. If she wants to die a slow death of starvation, then let her.”
“Kash.” Adam growls his name in warning. “You’re her guardian, for Christ’s sake.”
I still don’t know what that means, and I’m no longer sure I want to.
“I didn’t sign shit.” Kashton laughs like it’s a joke.
“We can move her over to the hospital.” Devin speaks next, trying to come up with a plan.
“That’s a start. Then what?” Adam lowers his voice.
“Feeding tube,” one suggests.
“She’ll just pull it out.” Saint chuckles at their Band-Aid for a life-threatening illness.
As if he even cares what happens to me. Honestly, I’m not even sure I have the energy for that.
“Restraints,” Gavin adds. “They’ll keep her from being able to harm herself or remove the feeding tube.”
“Restrain her to the bed?” Adam repeats, liking the sound of that option.
A moan escapes my cracked lips at the thought of being tied down. Not because I’m horny but because it makes me think of Haidyn.“Are you a rope bunny, doll face?”I can hear his voice ask me that question. If they blindfold me too, then I can pretend he’s in the room. Just being his typical dickhead self and making me wait to get off until he thinks I’m ready. Making me use my words and beg him.
He’s trained my body and my mind to need him. And then he just leaves me and expects me to go on with my life like I imagined him this whole time.
“None of that will be happening,” a woman’s voice states.
“Ash—”
“Help me get her to the bathroom, Adam.” She interrupts Saint. “Now.”
“I don’t think…”
“I don’t give a fuck what you think, Adam,” she shouts. “Give me twenty-four hours with her.” No one says anything to that, and she repeats, “Help me get her to the bathroom.”
“Come on, princess,” Adam says softly before arms roughly slide underneath my body. He picks me up, and my head hangs off the side of his arm as he enters the en suite bathroom.
My eyes are open, but I don’t see anything. Not really anyway. Just blurry shapes and bright, shiny lights. Unless he takes me to see Haidyn, it doesn’t matter.
The sound of running water fills my ears, and I’m set on the side of the tub. The room spins as if I’ve been drinking for days, but I know it’s because I’ve been depriving my body of what it needs to survive.
“I’ll give you ten minutes,” Adam tells Ashtyn. “If it doesn’t work, then we do it my way.”
“You don’t get to show back up out of nowhere—again—and start giving orders, Adam.” She gives a rough laugh.
“Haidyn wouldn’t want her to live like this,” he argues.
I want to say he left me, but it doesn’t matter. They all know that.
