“Wesley—”
“I knew you’d be another fucking whore.”
My stomach knots at his words because they’re true. I’m a whore. Haidyn’s whore, just like I wrote in the notebook. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I say, “I told you that I wanted?—”
“To be fucked?” He gives another rough laugh. “And we decided to wait. To have a relationship based on love and respect. Not sex.”
I wrap my arms around myself and bow my head. Haidyn always tells me to use my words. To speak what I want. I did that with Wesley, and he didn’t listen. Or he did and just didn’t like what he heard. Being with Haidyn has taught me a lot. I’ve always known sex was a big factor with the Lords. My mother raised me to believe that it’s big in any relationship. Lords or not—you see sex everywhere you look. Billboards, books, magazines, social media. There’s nothing wrong with that.
“You decided.” I look up at him through my lashes. “You decided for us that I didn’t need it.” His jaw sharpens. “But I told you how I felt. I wanted that connection with you.” I couldn’t be more grateful that he turned me down that night. I’m glad Haidyn was my first…at everything.
“So it’s my fault that you’re a cheating whore.” He nods to himself. “Got it. Just like Sally and blaming me for your infidelities.”
“No,” I say. “I chose to do that on my own.”But did I?I didn’t have a choice. First, the Lords tell me to remain a virgin, then they tell me to give Haidyn whatever he wants. I’m nothing more than a piece of the puzzle they can place wherever they want tomake the story fit. Now they want me to be part of getting rid of the man I think I’m falling in love with.
“I have been faithful.” He points at his chest. “Do you know how many chances I’ve had to fuck around on you, but I didn’t? I knew we had something special.”
“Wesley—”
“I knew that what I wanted was long term with you,” he screams.
I don’t know what to say to that because it was never meant to be more than what it was. He was a filler in my life. A stepping stone to get to where the Lords want me to be. “I’m sorry, Wesley. I really am.”
He snorts and pulls his suit jacket on, buttoning it closed. His eyes drop to my tennis shoes and run up over my leggings and hoodie. When they meet mine, I see the anger and betrayal I’ve caused him. “Now you’re just like every slut there is out there.” He comes over to stand in front of me, and I swallow nervously. “When he’s done with you, he’ll throw you to the side, and you’ll realize I was the better man.” With that, he turns and walks past me out the front door, slamming it shut.
A part of me is relieved. That’s a lie I no longer have to keep up with. But it doesn’t help my conscience with what I have to do with Haidyn. I down the rest of the glass of wine.
HAIDYN
I pullup to her house to see her garage door open and her SUV parked inside with the hatch up. I park my bike inside next to it, shut her hatch, and close the garage door when I enter the house.
She’s been ignoring me all day by keeping her phone off. And although I’ve been tracking her, not being able to speak to heris unacceptable. Especially since I know someone had that guy watching her. Since the guy is locked up at Carnage, they will hire someone else to follow her.
Walking down the hallway, I see an open box on the floor. I pick it up to see it’s black and the interior is padded with a light blue satin. I close the box and open it back up. It’s for a ring. But it’s empty. I close it and place it in the pocket of my leather jacket.
I make my way into the kitchen to see bags piled up on the kitchen table. Being myself, I start to open them up to find lingerie. A sexy black lace teddy. A pair of black Christian Louboutin heels. Some more lingerie and then underwear. Another pair of heels.
She spent the day shopping.
Leaving everything, I head to her bedroom and find the bathroom door open with her phone on the counter. Spotify is open, and she’s blaring “Dirty Thoughts” by Chloe Adams.
She’s got her dark hair up into a messy bun on top of her head, and a bottle of wine sits on the side of the tub. It’s halfway gone. The tub is filled to the brim with water and so many bubbles that they’re sliding down the side of the tub to the floor. Her head rests on the fluffy white pillow, and a washcloth lays over her eyes.
I crouch down next to the tub and pick up the corner of the washcloth, slowly pulling it off her face. Her head rolls to the side, and her eyes open to meet mine. “Rough day, doll face?”
She sighs and turns her head to stare up at the ceiling but says nothing.
“What happened?”
“Wesley found out about you.”
I frown. “Who is Wesley?” As I ask, it comes to mind. “Ahh, the boyfriend.”
“As if you ever cared that I had one to begin with.”
“I didn’t,” I say, and she gives a rough laugh. “What did he have to say?” I’m guessing she means by found out about me is in regard to fucking her. If it was Lords related, she’d be freaking out because he’s part of her fake life.
She lifts her left arm from the tub. A diamond sparkles on her bubble-covered hand. “He was going to propose.”
