* * *
It’s beentwo days since I sat on the shower floor and held my sobbing wife. She hasn’t spoken to me since. Not one word.
She’s shut down. Gavin is on standby. He said at any time, night or day, just call him, and he’ll be here to start a feeding tube and IV for fluids. She’s not eating and won’t drink anything. Just lies there in bed staring at the wall. I’m not even sure she’d put up a fight if I called in Gavin to help her.
I’m going crazy. Almost as bad as I did when she was taken. Because once again, she’s gone. She’s right there at arm’s reach, but she’s not there mentally. I don’t know what to do for her. How to pull her out of where she’s gone to hide. I want to give her time, but I also hate to see her suffering like this.
I gave her a bath last night, and she silently cried while I washed her. I half expected her to hit me, slap me, or punch me in the face. But she didn’t. Instead of pushing me away, she clung to me.
I’ve spent my day with Luke today. I woke up this morning, kissed my wife, and went down, needing to blow off some steam. She needs the tender side of me right now, not theI want to make you bleedside.
Gavin taped my cut hands and even those are bleeding through because I can’t not use them. I step out of the shower and dry off. Entering the bedroom, I see she’s in bed where she’s been, and I put on a pair of boxers before I crawl in next to her. I’ve always slept naked with her, but I no longer do. I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable around me. I’ve based our marriage off of sex and now I don’t want her to think that’s all I want from her.
She rolls over onto her side, facing me, and I reach out, gently running my taped knuckles down the side of her pretty face. I hate it. When I close my eyes, I hear her screaming my name. I see her lying there fighting for her life. Then I see him hit her, knocking her out and raping her while his spit covers her face.
I did that to her. I allowed Luke to take something from her that I can’t give back no matter how much I make him suffer.
“I’ve decided,” she speaks, her voice rough since it’s the first thing she’s said in two days.
“Decided?” I ask softly.
“I don’t want to see the video.”
Is this why she’s been so quiet? Because she’s spent the last forty-eight hours debating if she was going to watch her sister’s husband rape her and spit on her face? I hate to tell her, but I wasn’t going to let her see it.
“If that’s what you want.” I push her dark hair behind her ear for a better view of her gorgeous face.I just wish for once in my life I’d get to choose something for me.Is what she once said to me. I’ll allow her to think this decision is hers. But the truth is, the video is long gone, and the phone destroyed. No one will ever see what happened to her. Gavin had told me that Bramsen found it back at the hospital. Whitney had two separate phones. One she used to communicate with Luke and another one. It had no texts, calls, or emails. Just pictures and videos of victims over the past few years. The things on her phone made me sick, and I’ve seen some fucked-up shit. I’ve done some unforgivable things in my life, but to know that she helped, makes me angry.
“Is that awful of me?” Lake whispers. “Am I … a coward?”
Propping myself up on my elbow, I frown as she rolls onto her back, placing her shaking hands over her face. “Why would you ask that?” I pull them away so I can look at her.
She licks her trembling lips, looking over at the floor-to-ceiling windows, unable to meet my eyes. It’s dark outside, so you can’t see shit out of them. The first tear runs down the side of her cheek when she speaks. “Because I don’t remember it. Other victims—”
“Lake.” I cup her face, cutting her off, and fresh tears fall from her lashes when she blinks. “No.”
“We’ve had sex since then.” Her chest starts to heave. “I’ve … begged you.”
I grab her wrists and pull her to sit up. “Breathe, little darling,” I tell her, needing her to calm down. She’s all worked up and I hate to see her hurting. She’s fighting a battle that I didn’t even think would be one.
She throws her arms around my neck, and I pull her into my lap, hugging her to me tightly and softly rocking her.
I understand what she’s trying to say she feels. She went on with her life while other men and women have had to live with the nightmares and the trauma.
Am I glad she was unconscious? Yes. Do I hate that he’s making her feel bad about herself for that? Abso-fucking-lutely. But the Spade brothers have assured me that I can keep Luke alive as long as I want and visit him as often as I choose. While my wife starts to heal and comes to peace with her decision, I’ll remind him every fucking day that he has to live with his.
EPILOGUE
TYSON
Isit tucked back in the corner when my cell vibrates in my suit jacket. I pull it out to see it’s a text from my wife.
Little Darling: Don’t forget we have dinner tonight with our friends.
She thinks I’m at Blackout overseeing the progress of the new building. I’m not, but that’s what I told her. The club is coming along quicker than I expected. The grand opening is in just a couple of weeks.
The Lords offered me my life back. The one I traded in for my wife. Truth is, I love my life the way it is. Does that mean I’ll run Blackout until I die? No. But for now, it’s what I want to do.
We made a public announcement and informed the world that my wife was alive and well, while carrying our children. We told them that she was recovering and we wanted privacy at this time.
