He doesn’t answer. Instead, he sits on the end of the bed and removes his shoes. Then he stands and undoes his belt.
“Grave, we need to?—”
“No, we don’t, April. What I did and where I went is none of your business,” he snaps.
“You’re doing it again. You’re trying to push me away.”
“Then take the hint and leave,” he growls.
I nod my head and lick my dry lips. “I know you’re stronger than your demons, Grave. I just wish you’d realize that, too.”
He gives a rough laugh. “Don’t start that shit with me. Next, you’ll be telling me to go to rehab, just like my brother does.”
I stand from the bed. “Grave…”
“Get the fuck out of my house, April!” he shouts, pointing at the bedroom door.
My bottom lip quivers, and I try to swallow the knot that forms in my throat. I don’t want to leave him, but I can’t make him let me stay. This is his house, and he obviously no longer wants me.
Instead of waiting for me to do what I’m told, he enters his bathroom and slams the door shut. The lock clicks.
I run over and bang on the door. “Open the fuck up, Grave! We’re going to talk about this.”
The shower turns on, but he says nothing.
I wrap my hand around the doorknob and shove on the door while my free hand pounds on it. “Grave! Open the fucking?—”
It swings open, jerking me into the bathroom in the process, causing me to run right into him. He stands before me shirtless with his pants undone but still pulled up around his hips. His blue eyes glare down at me, and I take in a shaky breath, not knowing what to do exactly. I don’t want to push him, but then again, maybe that’s what he needs.
“I’m trying to help you.” I soften my voice and place my hands on his chest. His heart pounds beneath my palms.
“April,” he growls.
“Please, Grave. I love you.” I need him. What happened to Lucy was heartbreaking, and I’d hate to see him go down the same path. Maybe if her brothers had helped her, she wouldn’t be dead. “You told me you loved me.” He looks away from me and I see the tic in his sharp jaw. I’m not getting through to him. “Did you hear me?” I slap his chest, growing desperate. “Answer me!”
He wraps his hands around my wrists and squeezes, forcing me to stop. “I don’t need your help,” he says. “And I sure as fuckdon’t need you.” Then he shoves me out of the bathroom and slams the door in my face.
I cry, knowing that he’s too far gone. I’m not enough to make him stop. Lucy’s death was hard on him and not even I can numb the pain. I run a hand through my hair and get dressed before walking out with my head down. Doing as I’m told, knowing that I can’t talk him into letting me stay.
THIRTY-SEVEN
GRAVE
ISETTLE INTO the couch, my arms fanning the back of it, and stare up at the ceiling. The room spins, and my vision goes in and out while “Sail” by AWOLNATION plays through the speakers. The words pound in my head like a drum. Two weeks I’ve gone without April, and it’s been hell. But it’s what I deserve. I was horrible to her, just because I had a moment of weakness. I told her I didn’t need her and to leave. She fucking left. What did I expect her to do?
“Man, it’s going to be fine,” Trey says as he snorts a line of coke off the coffee table. “You were fine without her before, and you’ll be fine now.”
I block him out, close my eyes, and listen to the thunder shake the walls. I draw in a long breath and fill my lungs with the tainted drugs.It’s not the same.
The song changes to “Bury Me Low” by 8 Graves. It’s always been my theme song.
“Grave? Man, someone is hollering at you,” he says, shoving my arm.
“Fuck ’em.” I take another hit, needing that high I was able to reach before April entered my life. I need to drown her out.Fucking bury her so deep it’ll smother every thought of her I’ve ever had.
“Grave?” Trey sighs. “It’s Titan.”
“Fuck ’em,” I repeat and take another hit.
