TAYLOR
I feel so broken. So lonely! My mom was a druggie? Died of an overdose? How is that even possible? No memory I have of my mother involves drugs of any kind.
Blane takes a step toward me and I hold up my hand. “Don’t,” I cry out. I don’t want them to feel sorry for me. I don’t want them to baby me. I wanted the truth. Is that too much to ask? Is it that hard to be fucking honest?
I turn around giving them my back and make my way back to Case’s room on shaky legs. I come to the end of the bed and fall down onto it, sobbing into the comforter.
I feel the bed dip and then small arms wrap around me. I look up to see Savannah lying next to me. Tears slowly run down her face and she whispers, “I’m so sorry, Tay. I didn’t know …”
I wrap my arms around her cutting her off and squeezing her tightly as I cry into her shirt. I just wanna go back to sleep. I just wanna forget this day and move on with our lives.
It’s been a week since I saw my father. A full week since I learned about the true cause of my mother’s death. And it’s gotten a little easier. I still cry, but now, I only cry when I know I’m alone and no one can hear me. Like when I’m in the shower or bath. When everyone else leaves me alone. Case has been busy trying to find out who shot up Seven Deadly Sins, so he’s gone a lot. Blane and Savannah keep to themselves and I have been spending time alone with Brecken at the hospital. I think they know I prefer to be alone, and I welcome the silence. The numbing, deafening silence I allow myself to live in.
I know it’s my fault. I’m the one who needs to get over it and move on. But it’s hard to look my brother in the eyes. I understand why he didn’t tell me when I was twelve. I mean what kind of twelve-year-old would understand what an overdose meant? I remember watching my father do drugs after my mom passed, and I couldn’t comprehend his behavior. Or why he did them. But I’m twenty-one now and Blane has had plenty of chances to tell me since then.
I haven’t spoken much to Case either. Not because I’m mad at him, but because I don’t know what to say. I feel selfish. Immature. How can I be torn up about my mother’s death when I know what he went through when he lost his family? How he lost his parents? He hasn’t tried to touch me. He kisses me on the forehead in passing, but that’s all. Even when we’re in bed, he makes no move and I hate it. Maybe I need him to take away the hurt I feel.
I open my eyes as I hear the door to his bedroom open and shut quietly. It’s gotta be past midnight. I heard Blane and Savannah get home earlier when the sun was still up. I took a long bath and then crawled into his bed.
I keep my eyes closed as I hear him get undressed and then I feel the bed dip as he gets in behind me. He leans over and kisses my bare shoulder and then I feel him roll over giving me his back. I open my eyes and stare at the darkness for several minutes before I hear him softly snore. I sigh heavily as I close my eyes. Maybe tomorrow will be the day I crawl out of my hole.
***
I wake to a smell of something burning. I cough as I place my hand over my mouth. I open my eyes, but they sting and all I see is a cloud-like substance. “Case,” I say, coughing again.
I open my eyes again, and this time as I look around, I see that it was not clouds I was seeing, it was smoke. And the thing that is on fire is Case’s house.
“Case!” I scream out as I turn and start hitting his body. I can’t see much, but I can feel him. “Case, wake up!” I scream out.
His body moves under my hand, and then I no longer feel him. “Taylor!” he responds, his voice filled with panic.
“The house is on fire,” I say trying to look around, but all I see is smoke. I place my hand over my mouth and cough into it.
“Get down on the floor,” he orders in a rush.
I roll off the bed and lie flat on my stomach. I try to take calming breaths, but my chest is tight and my body shakes nervously. “Case?” I call out frantically.
When he doesn’t answer, I start to crawl on my hands and knees toward the end of the bed. I close my eyes and fall flat down onto my stomach when the smoke enters my lungs. It burns. The smoke takes my breath away and my chest tightens. I close my eyes as tears run down my cheeks.
I hear glass shatter in the distance, and I figure it’s the fire breaking things in the house. My chest heaves as I try to take in another breath. But seconds later, my arm is grabbed and I’m dragged to my feet. I try to speak, but all that comes out is coughing. I’m lifted into the air and then the next thing I know, my side hurts as I hit the ground.
I roll around as my lungs inhale fresh air sharply. “Case?” I call out as I position myself up on my knees. “Case?” I yell as my vision starts to clear, and I see that he had broken his bedroom window and threw me out of it. Moments later, he jumps through it, carrying his sheets from his bed and his cell phone. “Wrap this around you,” he rasps.
I look at him confused and still sucking in fresh air. When I don’t do as he says, he wraps it around me himself. And I finally realize that I’m naked. I had been sleeping naked last night. I thought that I was gonna be able to get over my mother and have sex. Now, I wish I would have worn clothes to bed.
“I have to go back in.” He places his hand over his mouth and coughs.
I shake my head frantically and let the sheet fall to the grass as I grab a hold of him. “No!” I shout, panic gripping me.
“I don’t have time to argue with you,” he growls. “Blane and Savannah are in there.”
“Oh, my God.” I inhale sharply and a pain shoots up my chest.
He doesn’t bother saying anything else. He lets go of me, spins around, and jumps back into his window. I reach down, grab the sheet, and cry out placing a hand over my mouth. He lives out in the middle of nowhere. He doesn’t have any neighbors. I need to call 9-1-1, but my phone is inside the house. I look down to see he dropped his cell on the grass. I frantically dial 9-1-1 and they inform me they have help on the way.
“Case?” I call out as I go over to the window. I place my hand up and step back as the fire burns my skin. The room is now up in flames.
I turn and run to the front of the house on shaky legs and heart hammering in my chest. Just as I come around the front of the house, the front door is kicked out. “Oh, thank God.” I breathe as I see Case dragging Blane behind him as he holds onto Savannah. I run to them, and she falls into my arms. I wrap the sheet around her, shielding us both as much as I can. She has panties on, but no top.
