I come to a stop and just watch him sleep. I told him too much last night. I remember running my mouth while in his SUV on our way back here. A part of me wanted to get it out. To purge everything that is Collins, Oregon. There were so many lies and so much deceit in that town. No one was who they said they were. Not even Deke.
I blamed my sister for killing Eli. I still blame her. And I blame Eli for thinking of that stupid plan. If she hadn’t gone, maybe the timing would have been different. Maybe he would have survived.
Did I love him?
I thought I did. But I didn’t really know him. He said that I didn’t deserve to be someone’s secret, but that’s exactly what I was. No one knew about us. Or what I thought we were.
I went to his funeral, and I watched the town mourn a kid who was loved by some and hated by most. I saw him differently, but he was still a GWS to everyone else, and the town didn’t like the sharks. Parents and most of the city wanted Cole’s head on a fucking stake for what happened. His father threw a lot of money at the city to make sure the law didn’t touch his son, but he too was more than what the town thought. They thought Cole was driving a car drunk after leaving a party with his friends. He took the blame for the accident and covered for my sister. You know how many times I wanted to out her sorry ass? She had lied to him about being pregnant. What kind of woman does that? She begged me to stay quiet. I did, knowing I’d be able to use it against her, but then Deke came along and threatened her when he also realized she had lied to Cole. Cole might not have known that Becky lied about being pregnant, but Deke did. And he was far scarier than I was capable of being.
You know what they say—all secrets come out eventually.
Deke shifts and turns onto his side. I crawl into the bed and cuddle up against him. He reaches out and pulls me into him. I inhale his scent and close my eyes. His hand glides up my back, and I kiss his chest.
“You better stop that,” he mumbles.
I smile and do it again.
“Demi …”
“I don’t want to,” I whisper.
His hand comes up to my hair, and he grips it in his fingers. Then he dips his face to the crook of my neck. “How do you feel?”
“Horny,” I answer. And still a little drunk.
He lets out a growl that makes his chest vibrate against mine.
I shove the covers off us and push on his chest. He rolls onto his back, and I get up to straddle him. His hands go to my hips, and he tugs on the lace of my thong. “What are you doing, Demi?”
“You,” I answer, biting my lip.
His hands slide up my sides and to my chest. I arch my back and throw my head back, closing my eyes and just soak in the feel of his hands. It’s nice to have someone touch you. Want you. Even if he wants to kill you. It makes things much more exciting. I should have pursued Deke a long time ago.
“Not with your underwear on, you’re not.” He growls.
“Then take them off me,” I tease.
I squeal as he tosses me down beside him and positions himself between my legs. His hands grip my panties, and he pulls them down my thighs before tossing them to the floor.
He leans down, his lips close to mine, and he runs his fingers over the cut on my cheek. “I’m gonna kill him.”
My heart begins to pound at his words. “Why?” I can’t help but ask.
His blue eyes move from the cut to my eyes. His jaw sharpens when he says. “Because he touched you. And I am the only man allowed to touch you.”
I hate that my chest tightens at his words. That someone actually cares for me. But I say, “You mean hurt me?”
His face grows serious, and he lets out a long breath. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“Are you?” I challenge him. That’s not the answer I wanted.
“Of course. I shouldn’t have …”
“It’s okay,” I wrap my legs around his hips.
“It’s not.”
“I wanted to push you the other night.”Shut up drunk, Demi.
