Why should I believe this isn’t just another trap? How can I allow myself to keep letting my guard down when I have the memory of those broken bones and bruises to remind me of just how bad men can get. I want to leave Magnum tongue-tied but of course, I don’t. He knows exactly what he wants, unlike all the other menaces from my past.
“I want you to say that you love me and I want you to mean it. If my belief wavers for even a second, I’m keeping your ass tied to the bed.”
He doesn’t sound at all like he’s joking or lenient. The leather scent and Magnum’s sweat wafts around the room. Even predators get nervous and you can smell it on them. I glare at him with stubborn refusal to give him what he wants or to face my feelings. Neither option appeals to me.
“You want me to lie?”
My heart does a backflip. It wouldn’t be a lie if I told Magnum I loved him, but the truth can be more dangerous. I can’t stomach the emotional vulnerability paired with the physical vulnerability. But I suspect Magnum will make it even more painful than this. He smirks.
“It’s not a lie. It’s a promise to me and to our child that we won’t bring a baby into a broken home.”
That little tug at my heartstrings happens again and my resentment for Magnum soars. I didn’t expect him to work hisway under my skin like this. I really didn’t. Now, he has his mind set on us being together forever and a dangerous power over me that no other man has had before. Why does he only want to make me dig my heels in? What’s wrong with me?
“I didn’t choose to bring this baby into a broken home. Whichever sick person drugged us did that. We have no reason to love each other, Magnum.”
If I stop staring him down, he’ll think he’s won something over me, but looking at Magnum doesn’t make it easy to keep up this rage. We both were drugged. We should be in this situation together fucking up whoever did this to us. Instead, we’re caught up in the complex side effects of the sex we can’t seem to stop having.
He knows how intense and emotional it feels to get in bed together because he’s there too. Unfortunately, Magnum has to make a big scene. He needs a romantic proclamation, the big words, the big commitment – the only shit in the world that genuinely scares the crap out of me anymore after all the shit I’ve been through.
“I don’t need a reason,” he says quietly. “I suppose you’re too heartless to understand, but the way I feel about you defies reason. If I had any sense at all, I would have taken you to the doctor and ended all of this.”
I can feel the pang of sadness at just the thought at the same time as I watch Magnum’s face fall. He can’t bear the thought of us not having this baby either. This accident tugged at our hidden sentimental sides, bringing them to the surface in an unexpected way. I just don’t have the delusion that this hormonal mess of pleasure and excitement will last forever.
Magnum will be off on his motorcycle when he catches a whiff of this baby’s first diaper, and I shouldn’t delude myself into thinking he’s going to stick around once the reality of no sex,chapped nipples and a wailing baby with a poopy diaper catches up to him.
“Wanting to control me isn’t the same as loving me?”
Magnum’s scowl deepens. “If you were in any way controllable, I wouldn’t have to tie you to the bed with reinforcements to have a simple conversation with you.”
“How has it become my fault that you tied me to the bed?”
This man’s ability to flip the scripts and turn the tables must be downright legendary. My anger flares in my chest, but instead of comforting me like my anger normally does, I feel this utter horror that Magnum can control my emotions so easily. I should be strong enough to stop my internal reactions to him. But I can’t.
“I love you,” he says. “It’s not about control. I gave you all the resources you need to make your dream come true. I’m right here with you trying to make the best of this frustrating situation. We have chemistry, Damara. We must have.”
He says it with so much conviction that I’m almost tempted to give up my resistance to Magnum Sinclair.
But I can’t make it easy on him… not just yet.
“We don’t need to involve feelings in this.”
“I told you,” Magnum responds, gritting his teeth. “My child willnotgrow up in a broken home. If you don’t love me, you can use tonight as practice faking it. Because you will learn.”
“Is that how it works?”
“You are impossible.”
I know I’m working him up to a point of frustration that neither of us might be able to return from. It’s dangerous to taunt this beast of a man, but I see no other way right now. I’m not tired enough of fighting him and despite the pain I feel from being tied to the bed, it’s nowhere near the pain I felt the last time I gave my heart to another man.
“Say it,” Magnum repeats. “Say it, or I will go to even more extreme measures.”
“You won’t hurt your precious baby.”
And if he loves me, he won’t hurt me either. That makes it a little more cruel to play with Magnum’s emotions, but it’s not a game I’m entering lightly. It’s at least as serious as betting on the Warriors winning the NBA finals in a year when Steph Curry gets his knee injured in the playoffs.
“I might,” he says.
“You won’t.”
