Damara
Igot him off my back for now, but I don’t trust Magnum’s disappearance into the shower. He’swaytoo quiet. I won way too easily, especially because my suspicions might be coming true. It’s actually happening. Magnum might be catching feelings for me. This man doesn’t realize how dangerous that really is, honestly.
I have a fucked up past. Even my sister Tamiya doesn’t know all the things that I’ve been through. I don’t want or need anyone to know about the darkness that I’ve been through. It’s a part of my past and it won’t come back to haunt me. I put my past six feet under and if I’ve done wrong by anyone, I’ll kneel before God when he finally rings the bell and calls me home.
Every time he touches me outside of the bedroom, I flinch. You wouldn’t think these small acts of intimacy would bother me more than the kissing and fucking, but they do. I sense Magnum’s feelings growing, but what does it really mean when a man’s feelings for you grow? The vulnerability represents all the aspects of my past that I’ve tried to leave behind.
Heat swells around me in the kitchen despite the cracked window and as strands of my hair stick to the back of my neck, I love the control over my life that I feel when I’m cooking a mealfor Magnum. This is the one part of our dynamic where I feel like I have a say in things – I tell him what we’re going to eat, I season the food, I prepare it.
My “job” doesn’t require a whole lot of work compared to the daycare since we haven’t opened the storefront yet. Everything I have to do is pure management, which mostly involves making phone calls, sending Magnum’s staff on errands, looking at products on websites, and sending a lot of emails. The storefront won’t open until after the baby gets here since Magnum made me push the opening date back.
I know he means well and just wants the best for us, but moving the opening date for the baby just makes the pregnancy feel so much more real. And to me, that means scary. The tough girl who might have shot a man out in the desert (allegedly) scared of a little baby? Yes. I have a fear of the “body horror” aspect of it all, the way I’ll contort and shift for this mysterious life.
Putting my business plan together excites me more than imagining a baby doing somersaults in my abdomen. I can’t share that business excitement with Magnum because anything that brings us closer feels like it brings me further away from myself.
I promised I would never let another man do me dirty the way that my ex did, but I gave Magnum the ultimate opportunity to utterly destroy my life with both the contract and this baby. What if he’s just using me for a sick fetish? What if he just wants to get me to prove to himself that hecanlive out some fucked up fantasy?
By the time I plate our food, I’m too hungry to keep fussing over what plans Magnum might have.
“Dinner’s ready!”
He’s done with his shower, so it shouldn’t take him too long to show up. Magnum appears in the doorway and for a man whohas been done with his shower for several minutes, he’s still… woefully underdressed.
“You’re coming to the table in the towel?” I ask Magnum, ignoring his little plot for attention as he shows up to dinner wearing nothing but a tight black t-shirt and a towel. Is this man trying to dress like a male thot to get me to change my mind? It won’t work. Just because he has a lower-body build like Saquon Barkley and a dick the length of my forearm doesn’t mean he’s going to get in my head tonight.
I’m stronger than Magnum’s tricks.
“I stained my sweatpants.”
“With what?”
“They’re in the dryer,” he says, pulling out his seat and staring greedily at the dinner I just made him. “What’s all this?”
“You know it’s filet mignon, Magnum.”
“Hm,” he says. “Looks delicious.”
Magnum gives me a grateful smile, but his efforts to placate me just make me more infuriated. I don’t want his gratitude right now.
“Enjoy.”
I quietly tuck into my food, hoping that Magnum takes the hint and stays quiet. After his first bite, he of course, refuses to stay silent.
“Mmm,” Magnum says. “This is goddamn delicious.”
Great. Hopefully he keeps eating and cuts off the talking right here because I’ve truly had enough of that.
“Thanks.”
“You’re an excellent cook, Damara. I would love to take some work off of your plate today.”
There’s something downright suspicious about Magnum right now. I don’t believe the excuse he gave me for showing up in just his towel and I want to ignore any potentialmanipulations this man could throw in my direction, especially with his dick almost out of his towel.
“I don’t need help with anything.”
“I’m sure you need help with some things,” Magnum responds stubbornly. This man is making it downright impossible to get through this meal without starting a fight. It’s bad enough that I’m pregnant, the last thing I need is fighting off mind tricks from Magnum Sinclair.
Where are this man’spantsby the way? Magnum eats like a beast and normally I would ignore all the steak sauce covering his lips, but his animalistic lip smacking distracts me from my food. I glare at him and swear I detect the slightest smirk on Magnum’s face. He’s doing this on purpose. Whatever. I need to just ignore him. It should be easy, right?
