The closeness makes it even worse, because I’m forced to confront Magnum’s physical size and all the other physical things about him…
“How did you get proof?”
Magnum smirks with smug self-satisfaction that another smack could quickly wipe off his fucking face.
“I stole your urine because I wanted to make a plan like any decent man would before becoming a father.”
“Decent men steal piss now? Is that in the Bible somewhere?”
Magnum ignores my efforts to annoy him. He’s even more frustrating because of his refusal to react to anything I do trying to piss him off.
“I’m ready for a baby. It’s happening, Damara. So get used to it.”
“I’ve known for about sixty seconds.”
“It took me seconds to adjust,” Magnum says quickly. “I’m a mature adult who has spent every year since I turned eighteen building a nest egg. I’ll finally have a chick.”
Nausea turns my stomach, but I have to hold up a brave, impenetrable face in front of Magnum. He tricked me. He made me think there was a chance in hell I was too old for this to work orsomething.But I’m pregnant. My relationship with my parents was never good. I left home early and I paid by the dozens for the bad choices I made.
Is this how my story ends? I get tricked and trapped into having a baby with a white criminal after spending years of my life begging God to help me find freedom. I might not have built up my “nest egg” like Magnum, but I did something far more difficult – I survived.
What type of psychological damage could a woman like me do to a child? It’s not fair. I deserve a chance to live my life without damaging another person.
“You don’t have to worry,” Magnum follows up after several seconds of my silence. “I know you’re pissed off, but once that settles you’re going to understand that it’s good news.”
“I understand perfectly what’s going to happen, you condescending asshole.”
Magnum lets out a deep, shuddering sigh, like I’m the one annoying him and pissing him off for not suddenly jumping for joy that his big-headed baby will be camping out inmyuterus for the next thirty-nine weeks.
He glares. “You don’t have to be verbally abusive.”
If this man thinks the word “asshole” counts as verbal abuse, I’m about to change his life.
“I am not the problem here, you big-headed sasquatch. You stole my pee. You stole some pussy. Youstealevery damn thing in sight and I don’t want anything to do with you for the next nine months, much less for the rest of my life.”
Trembling with rage doesn’t make me come across as nonchalant. Magnum can see this, which makes me more concerned at this display of vulnerability. This man got me good with his sneaky pee test. He wanted the upper hand and now I’m tongue-tied and worse than that, I’m tied to Magnum for life unless something changes.
There’s that strange flip in my stomach again. Magnum surprises me by not reacting with a vicious attack in the face of my vulnerability. His expression softens, which just makes me feel worse.
“I already signed a contract promising to look after you and this child. If you have a heart in there somewhere, I could take care of that too.”
I give him a doubtful expression, intended to cut him down. Magnum wraps his arms around me instead of joining in the fight and he kisses me on the top of my forehead. He wants to make me believe this is a good thing, but how can I possibly do that?
“You’re my little incubator now,” he murmurs. “Whoever put us together might have made a mistake.”
“Well obviously.”
“We make a better couple than they could have ever imagined. We’re going to be unstoppable Damara…”
I doubt that, but I let Magnum hold onto me so I can get away with not looking him in the eye while I process the rush of emotions I have over this big news. Magnum might be excited, but that’s because his body won’t change completely both in its external appearance and hormonal makeup for the next thirty-nine weeks. He gets to play house, and I have to become a house for a baby that might have to come out of me with Magnum’s big head.
You don’t make it this far childless without some intention behind that, and I can’t believe this is what it would come down to in the end. I’m going to have a baby because of some big cosmic trick. After all the shit I’ve been through, all the basements I’ve escaped, desert’s I’ve traveled, I end up pregnant for a random white biker built like a Greek statue.
He keeps holding me, making it impossible to suppress a physical response to him. He’s still a huge, muscular man, and I’m a functional woman, despite my condition. Why did he have to look like that? And have a dick like that? And talk like he’s going to stay in my life forever?
The Lord really sends his toughest battles out to his strongest soldiers. In this era of my life, I didn’t want to be saddled up to another destructive man. Magnum holds me closer with that “I won’t let you go” squeeze that makes me so fucking weak. I force myself to hold back and only cling to him lightly.
I might not have any real feelings for Magnum, but it’s hard for me not to feel completely turned on by his dedication to this baby while it’s still just a bunch of cells with no discernible brain, shape, or gender.
