Idon’t know what’s wrong with me. I blame Magnum’s dick for knocking my brain cells out of place. I tell Tamiya that I remain physically unharmed and that Magnum has been doing his best to take care of me so we can solve this mystery together. I make it sound like I’m fully on board with Magnum’s plan. Tamiya doesn’t seem to mind handling the hiring of a new manager for the daycare, but she replies by saying that Magnum “had better” financially support me. Apparently, hiring a new manager will cut into my profits enough that I’ll only make $1,100/month. Not bad for passive income, but not enough to keep a roof over my head without help.
But Magnum? Take care of me? The idea makes me feel weird as a long time strong independent woman.
Is that how this little club works? No wonder the black women married to men in the club seem content with their arrangements. Tamiya works, but if I had the option to avoid that mess and focus on creating art or poetry, I would skip the work in an instant.
Magnum takes the phone away from me with an excessively prideful look on his face from my excellent performance. I hope he doesn’t think I’ll be letting him off easy, especially not sincehe clearly thinks he’s won because I didn’t scream into the phone and beg Tamiya for rescue. He finishes up his conversation with Tamiya and when Magnum hangs up and gives me that evil ass look, I wonder if I’ve made the right choice.
“You’re choosing to be with me,” he says immediately. “Interesting.”
“I want to solve this mystery and I’m not letting you out of my sight while I might be pregnant until you cook up a favorable child support agreement.”
“Child support agreement?”
“I’m not bringing a white man’s child into the world without a contract.”
“That has to be some of the most racist shit I have ever heard,” Magnum says, without a hint of irony about his indignation. Like most white men, he seems to be delusional about these topics.
“Your club’s charter had slurs in it until recently.”
“I never heard it read out loud,” Magnum responds gruffly, in the most absurd use of a loophole I’ve ever seen. He’s done nothing to change my mind about the contract, which is far more important for me to focus on compared to his personal opinions. I don’t care if he thinks all black people have six toes on their right foot. If I’m going to risk pregnancy, I’m not going to risk it without a contract.
Worst case scenario, I’ll threaten to jump out the window. Men think women with colorful hair are insane, so he’ll probably believe me.
“I won’t run. I won’t fight you. I’ll do whatever you want for the next 39 weeks…ifI’m pregnant. You give me money, we solve this little mystery together and… if you need to hunt someone down and kill them, I’ll help you.”
“What the fuck?”
“What? You’re in an outlaw biker club. I’m not stupid.”
Magnum seems hesitant in a way that almost comes across as afraid. “What type of woman offers to participate in a murder?”
“I’m not some virginal eighteen year old, Magnum.”
“I know that,” he says, again giving off a vibe like I’m annoying him or something.
“Okay. I can handle myself and I can handle a gun. So if that’s what you have to put in your contract, go ahead and count me in.”
“You’re fucking crazy.”
“Should I diagnose you too?”
“I’ll write you a contract. But you’re out of your fucking mind if you think I would have you anywhere near that type of danger.”
“Whatever. I’m not some fragile ass woman.”
“I’ll be in my office,” Magnum says angrily, although I still can’t figure out why. “Take a pen and paper, come up with something you want to do with yourself while I’m working.”
“Excuse me?”
“A job,” Magnum says. “You don’t seem like you have one but… I don’t trust a woman like you with idle hands.”
“A woman like me?”
“You have time to keep that hair bright pink. It means you have time on your hands. That will change.”
“This is starting to feel like a hostage situation.”
Magnum grunts and hands me a notepad and pen from his pocket. He’s not even joking. This man wants me to sit there and find some purpose in my life? I’m forty-two years old and I haven’t found my purpose in life yet.
