It’s selfish, Adeline. And if you don’t see that, then you’re more delusional than I thought.
“This conversation isn’t going anywhere,” Sam interrupts, her voice flat as she pushes off the wall.
“Look,” I say, my tone softer but frustration seeping in, “all I’m saying is that there’s a lot about the accident that doesn’t make sense. And maybe it’s connected to our…” I hesitate, the word catching in my throat.Stalker.For some reason, I can’t bring myself to even say it. It almost feels too excessive. Too real. “Our issue,” I say instead.
Sam narrows her eyes. “So, what exactly are you saying? That the accident wasn’t an accident?”
I meet her gaze, giving her a firm nod. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
Naomi exhales sharply, shaking her head as though trying to process everything. “From now on, we need to take precautions,” she says firmly as her eyes lock onto mine, a rare seriousness in them. “No walking alone at night. Lock the doors, the windows—everything. From now on, we’re careful. All of us.”
Sam nods, adding, “And next time one of us gets a text, we tell each other. Immediately.”
As much as I want to agree with her. A small part of me screamsno. That I’m pulling them into an issue that I can handle on my own.
We’re playing with fire here.
Better one person gets caught in it than all three.
***
I make sure to lock the door when we leave the house for school. I then proceed to check each window, making sure they’re all the way closed, and contemplate investing in bolts to bolt them shut.
No way for anyone to get in.
Just as I begin walking to the car, I feel the unease slowly creep its way back into my mind, clawing at the edges and scratching the memories I’d buried. Ortriedto. In that moment, everything comes flooding back, and I freeze in place.
No.
“It’s not like you’re driving the car,” Sam calls out, already in the driver’s seat, her tone flat as she adjusts the rearview mirror.
“I’ll walk,” I manage to say, and the words feel weak, even to me.
“Oh my god, Addie, get in the damn car. I thought we agreed no walking alone,” Naomi snaps, her brown eyes locking onto mine, frustration burning in her gaze.
I feel myself trembling, my hands involuntarily fiddling with the hairband on my wrist. It’s become a nervous habit nowadays, a way to ground myself in situations like this. I take a deep shaky breath, trying to calm the panic rising inside me.
“I’ll sit in the back,” I finally mumble, forcing myself to take a step toward the car.
After all, in the minicab, I had sat in the back, and I hadn’t thought much about the crash. I had been fine. And I’ll be fine now. I’m not the same person I was four months ago when the mere sight of a car made me sick to my stomach. I try to take deep breaths, to calm my racing heart. Trying to block out all the horrifying pictures coming to mind.
Sliding into the back seat, I keep my head down, letting the car door slam shut behind me. As soon as the car starts moving, I squeeze my eyes shut. Every bump in the road, every turn, sendsa jolt through me, and my nails dig into my palms—my fists clenched so tight they ache.
The hairband is still there, leaving an angry red mark around my wrist. I rip it off and toss it aside. I can’t keep doing this.
Everything is loud, the noise pressing into my skull. The sound of the tires against the wet road, my own racing thoughts, Naomi and Sam bickering in the front. And as much as I try to calm my body down, my mind thinks one thing: I’m trapped inside this car, and I can’t escape.
I’m trapped in the car and I can’t escape.
I’m trapped in the car.
I’m trapped in the car.
When the school comes into view, I don’t wait. The second the car slows, I throw the door open and stumble into the rain, the cold drops soaking through my uniform instantly.
I hadn’t even realized it was raining.
Naomi’s voice calls after me, but I can’t hear her. I force a smile in their direction, then turn and run like hell.
