Lilia grins. “You look at him like you’re in love with him or something.”
My eyes widen. “What? No! Are you kidding?”
But even as I say it, something unsettles me. Because the thing is—I wouldn’t evenknowif that were true. I don’t know what love feels like.
Is it supposed to be warm? Soft? It’s meant to feel good, right?
It’s not meant to be confusing. Shouldn’t it be clear? Shouldn’t itmake sense?
I swallow, pushing the thought away.
Lilia narrows her eyes, watching me closely. Then she says, all too casually,“Yes, of course, I’m kidding.”
I exhale, relieved.
“Or am I?” she adds, and I’m mortified.
“Lilia,” I say, exasperated, “why onearthwould I be in love with him?”
Lilia presses her lips together, staring at a spot in the ceiling. “We don’t choose who we fall in love with. It just happens.”
I tilt my head at her. “You’re speaking from experience?”
Lilia shrugs, reaching into the popcorn tub and tossing a piece into her mouth. “Or so I’ve heard,” she grins.
I smirk, leaning back against the cushions and arching a brow at her. “Okay then. What’s going on between you and Will, hm?”
Lilia instantly groans, tipping her head back. “Oh, don’t even start.” She drops the popcorn tub onto her lap, one hand dragging down her face dramatically. “He’s infuriating.”
I laugh at how physicallypainedshe looks.
“I mean it,” she continues, snapping a piece of popcorn between her teeth. “The boy has not changed a single bit since prep school. He really works my nerves.”
My jaw drops. “Wait—hold on. How long have you known him?”
“Too long,” she mutters, tossing another piece of popcorn into her mouth.
I tilt my head. “He’s pretty scary,” I admit, thinking back to… well—the majority of our encounters.
She nods, considering that. “He can be, I guess,” she says, shifting the popcorn tub to the side, and settling cross-legged on the bed. “You know, I actually witnessed first-hand Kai and Will become friends.”
“You’re kidding,” I whisper.
Lilia shakes her head. “Not even close. Will was always just… alone, and everyone sort of left him alone because they were intimidated or something.” She rolls her eyes, “And Kai took him under his wing. Will never left after that.”
I stare at her, trying to imagine it, and for a moment, I can’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like if I’d had that. If I’d had my own Kai—someone to stand at my side, someone who could have helped me.
Maybe things would’ve been different. MaybeIwould be different.
The idea lingers longer than I want it to, and before I can stop myself, I almost envy Will.
Lilia leans back against the headboard. “I didn’t stick around long after that, though. My parents pulled me out of that school not too long after.”
I frown. “How come?”
Her fingers still. She looks over, and there’s something cautious in her expression now. “Kai was getting a lot of attention back then. Media, mostly,” she says. “My parents didn’t think it was safe for me to be around that.”
I blink. “Did they show up at your school or something?”
