“They’re going to pay for what they did to you,” I say softly.
She doesn’t respond. At least, not right away.
“I think they should pay for what they did to me, but also… without it I wouldn’t have my baby. And… my feelings about that are very confusing.”
“I can imagine they would be.” I lift my arm to put it around her and pull her close. “I want you to know that, no matter what, I am here for you. You and your baby can stay with me as long as you need, no questions asked, and I want nothing in return.”
Anastacia takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I am so scared, Grizz.” The fear in her voice has my throat getting tight. “I am scared every day. For me. For my baby. For… you.”
“Why for me?”
“You are a sweet, kind soul doing dirty work.”
“I’m not that kind,” I admit. “If you knew what I’ve done—”
She sits up abruptly, startling me.
“I don’t care what you’ve done, because I know you’d never hurt someone who didn’t deserve it,” she says firmly. “I am not the kind of person who thinks some people don’t deserve pain. Plenty of people do. Every single man who ever laid a finger on me, because it wasn’t just the Iron runners, deserves the worst kind of torture and death, and I have no shame in feeling that way. Neither should you.”
“I don’t,” I answer, shifting to face her to cup her cheeks.
It’s dark, just the lights along the path and the moon allowing us to see each other. “I don’t regret anything I’ve done because it’s been for a reason. A good reason. But other people…”
“They don’t understand.” Her hand comes up on top of mine. “But I do, and I think… that should matter, right? What I think about you matters?”
“Fuck, of course it does,” I say, leaning in to press my forehead to hers. “More than it should, probably.”
“Why?”
“Because I hardly know you, Anastacia, but fuck, I feel like I’ve known you forever while at the same time wanting to know everything about you. I want…” I trail off.
“What do you want?” she whispers.
“I want things with you I’ve never wanted before. Things that I should not ask you for.”
“Why?” she urges.
“Because it’s unfair of me to want anything from you after so much has been taken.”
Her hand falls from mine, and she cups my cheeks now too. She pulls back to look into my eyes.
“You’re the only man who hasn’t taken a single thing from me.” My eyes fall closed, hating that for her. “Look at me,” she whispers. So, I open my eyes. “I don’t know how to do any ofthis. I don’t know what a normal relationship looks like. I hardly know how to function as a human, never mind as a mother, which I’m about to be any day now. But I know that I like having you around. I like the way you make me feel. I’m protected and safe when I’m with you, and I never think you’re going to hurt me.”
“I won’t. I would never.”
“I like when you have your hands on me, and I really like the way your lips felt.”
She brushes her thumb along my bottom lip, and they part instinctively. My dick gets a little excited too, I won’t lie.
“Kiss me,” I say, regretting the words the moment they come out. She’s being so sweet, spilling her guts to me with the most beautiful words I’ve ever heard in all my life, and I just want to jump to the physical stuff. What a fucking guy move.
But she doesn’t argue and doesn’t show a single sign of being mad or offended. She just leans in and kisses me. And I kiss her right back, trying my damnedest to keep myself in check. I’m a zero to a hundred kind of guy when it comes to the physical stuff, but with her? It can’t be like that. Hell, I don’t want it to be. I want to take my time with her. Enjoy it. Make sure she enjoys it—and wants it.
I’ve kissed plenty of girls. Too many girls to count. But none of them matter—they meant nothing. This though? I’ll never forget it.
Never forget how soft her lips are or her sweet taste—the way her tongue slides against mine tentatively, not as if she’s scared but more like she’s wondering if she’s doing it right—or if I like it.
My body starts to shake as I hold back the need to show her exactly how I feel about her, because that can’t happen. Not now. It’s too fast. But I’ve never been a patient person. When I want something, I take it. I’ve never had a reason not to give myselfthe things I want. It was the only way I survived and didn’t go off the deep end.
