I’m pregnant with their baby. They won’t kill me.
However, I know better than most that there are worse fates than death.
For now, I’ll take the grace I am being given.
Kolton has a doctor friend who comes by to check on me, and that is something I wouldn’t so easily give up. My choices aren’t about me anymore, they’re about my baby, so I’ll stay here as long as I can. I’ll do whatever I can to keep Kolton happy, so he doesn’t get rid of me. At least until the baby is here. I can run for my freedom, for true freedom, then. Once she’s safely in my arms, we can go anywhere, do anything.
I get out of bed, looking down at my swollen feet that burn when I put pressure on them. There’s an ache in my lower backthat I massage as I walk to the attached bathroom to pee, wash up, and brush my teeth. Everything hurts all the time. I’m not sure what to blame it on these days.
The mattress is soft, I sleep plenty, and don’t do any laborious work.
I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t in pain. I don’t feel bad for myself, though. Pain reminds you that you’re alive. It’ll get better one day.
Kolton has a good amount of food, but it’s all healthy stuff. This is not a good place to find a quick snack, but he has plenty to make for dinner. After frying myself an egg and making toast, I eat it quickly while standing by the window and looking into the large yard. There’s not much to see, but it’s beautiful. Green and spacious, with tall lush trees and colorful birds. The sky is blue, the sun shining through fluffy clouds. This looks like freedom, yet I still feel like I’m in a cage.
I feel good today, despite my somber thoughts. Better than I have in a long time. I went to sleep with positive thoughts about starting the day, and I think that contributed to it.
Mind over matter.
The house is quiet, peaceful.
During the day, I’m here alone. It’s not the most comforting thing, but there is a security system that helps. A little. I’m not sure anything will ever allow me to truly feel peace. After being kidnapped, you’re always looking around the corner, thinking it’s going to happen again.
The food I ate will hold me off for a little while, but I’m craving pasta. And chicken.
I browse the fridge and cabinets, finding everything I need for chicken parmesan, so I gather it all and get to work.
Kolton comes home at all different hours, so I can’t be sure it’ll be soon, but it would be nice if he was here early tonight to enjoy dinner while it’s still hot. It’s never the same when it’s reheated.
I can’t thank him enough for what he’s done for me. I could spend my life telling him, and it would still never feel like enough. He saved me and my baby from the Iron Runners. They’d done nothing but use me like a sex toy since they had me, and I can only imagine what they’ll do once this baby is out of me.
And if it’s a girl…
I press my hands to the counter and let my head fall forward to breathe through the wave of nausea.
I can’t even think of them harming my child. Not like that or any other way. It makes me sick. Once I no longer feel dizzy, I drink a glass of water and get back to dinner.
Of course, the kitchen is a mess when Kolton walks through the door.
“You’re here,” I say with a smile. It’s easier today than it was yesterday.
His eyes go from me, to the sink full of dishes, to the dirty counter, and then to the pots on the stove. I swear he’s gone pale.
“It is where I live,” he says sharply.
I don’t know him well, but I’ve seen enough to know that he isn’t a mean man. He’s just a little grumpy. I don’t take it personally, because after everything I’ve dealt with, he’s basically a kitten. Someone’s tone is the least of my concerns.
After explaining why I’ve made a mess and promising I’ll clean it up, he tells me none of it is necessary and then goes into the shower—like he does every day when he comes home.
Steps through the front door. Straight into the shower.
I noticed he has a bandage around his finger, but when I asked, he avoided talking about it. Being part of the club, I couldn’t begin to guess how he got that. It could be anything from a brawl to a mishap on his bike.
The doorbell rings, and I consider ignoring it, but that’s rude. Besides, one of the Iron Runners wouldn’t ring the doorbell toget inside. I check the security panel just in case. Kolton’s doctor friend stands on the other side, hands in his slacks and staring out into the yard.
“Well, hello,” he says with a bright smile when I pull the door open. It’s a real smile, and it’s refreshing to see. He’s the only person I see these days, and have seen in a long time, who has a real smile like that.
He’s a handsome man, much older than me. Older than Kolton too, I’m sure. I think there is more than friendship going on between them, or at least there is a history. I feel the tension, and don’t miss the googly eyes the doctor gives Kolton when he isn’t paying attention.
