Prologue
Grizz
I swipe the brush over the wall one last time before dropping it into the paint can. I step back, my head fuzzy from the fumes. The window is open, but it’s hot as shit outside with no breeze, and the fan is hardly helping. Damn old houses.
It’s a good color, though. A shade of yellow that couldn’t possibly put anyone in a bad mood. It’s not so bright that it looks cheesy—ha-ha, funny—and not so dull that it looks like vomit. It’s the perfect shade, right in the middle. A pretty color that will keep my brother and his wife’s mood high. It’s exactly what they need.
They’ll be here in a few days, and this is a surprise for them—a gift. My brother and I talked about the renovations we’d do on the house together. The kitchen needs upgrades, and the stairs need rebuilding. My porch isn’t big, but we’re going to make itbig. A huge wrap-around one with enough space in the back so that we can put a patio set and a grill for cooking.
Tommy mentioned painting the room that he and his wife would stay in, but I decided I would do it for them. They’re dealing with a lot right now, and it’s the least I can do. Besides, it’ll be easier for them to get here and move right in, rather than waiting to get settled all for a few coats of paint.
My brother, Tommy, is a recently retired police officer, so he’s still getting used to being home. They’re moving halfway across the country to live with me, since we’re the only family we have left.
Well, I have him and the club. He only has me and his wife. Maybe the club too, if I can get him to join.
But the worst thing of all is the loss they’re dealing with. It’s the fourth one, and I think they’re giving up. They haven’t said those words outright, but I hear it in Tommy’s voice when he talks about it. They can’t take much more bad news.
All they’ve ever wanted was a baby, and I was thrilled about becoming an uncle—not as much as he wants to be a dad, though. He’d proudly tell me every time they were trying, and I got a phone call every time that stick showed a plus sign, even though Kelsey made him promise not to. They didn’t want to get their hopes up, or the hopes of others, and for good reason. But it was our little secret. Our brotherly bond. But on the opposite end of all that excitement, I heard it every time they lost a baby. Hell, I felt it from two thousand miles away. The heartache, the pain. I listened to his sobs through the phone, wishing I could go to him and hug him. Make it all better.
He kept it together for his wife.
So I kept it together for him.
They talked about other options, but for one reason or another, they chose not to go that way. Now, Tommy is a few years shy of fifty, and Kelsey just turned forty. They’ll use theirage as an excuse, but they’re scared. That pain never goes away, I would imagine.
But once they’re here with me, they won’t be alone anymore. Not that I’m young enough to be their child, but there is an age gap between me and my brother, so our relationship isn’t your typical sibling type.
Of course, if you ask them, they’ll say they’re worried about me and that’s why they’re moving. If that makes it easier for them, they can blame it all on me all they want. I’ll take their pain just to see them smile, and I won’t lie about being lonely. It’s why I spend so much time at the club. What’s the point in being in an empty house? All it does is remind me how fucking alone I am.
I feel a headache coming on, so I clean up the mess in here, tossing out the plastic sheets I laid over the carpeted floor, and soak the paintbrushes.
Sundays are me days. I get to do whatever the hell I want, and typically I spend them at the clubhouse, over at the bar with Trudy, getting wasted and fucking girls. Someone has to be on the premises at all times, and I usually volunteer because I don’t want to be in this huge house by myself.
But I feel different today. Happy. Lighter. I don’t feel like I have to fill my emptiness with alcohol and pussy. My brother will be here soon, and that’s fucking exciting. I love my brother, even though we grew up separately. He’s twelve years older than me, so all my childhood memories are of an adult big brother. He was practicing how to drive when I was learning how to shit in the toilet.
Tommy moved away when he was eighteen to go to college in Florida. He went there for business, but hated it, so he went to the academy instead.
We’re close now, as close as can be, ever since our parents died. It’s one of those things me and all the guys in the club have in common, which is another thing Tommy has in common withthe club too. We’re all orphans, though I don’t know if you can consider yourself an orphan at the prime age of thirty-five, but I don’t have parents, and I think that’s the only requirement.
A lot of people from this area retire to Florida, but Tommy is sick of it and ready to come home. I can’t wait for him to get here. Being here together will be good for all of us. It’s a fresh start that I am so fucking ready for.
Chapter One
Anastacia
You don’t know how you will react in the face of danger, no matter how much you prepare.
In a dangerous situation, your practice and knowledge go out the window.
After tragedies, too.
You don’t know what scars will be left behind.
Physical. Emotional. Mental.
What I do know, though, is that after dealing with everything I’ve dealt with in my life, I’m here.
I am still here.
