"Four hours," I say. "Then I'm back on rotation."
"Four hours minimum or I'm telling Kane you're compromising your own operational effectiveness."
Despite everything, I almost smile. "You'd really do that."
"Try me."
I stand, suddenly aware of how close we're standing. Her shampoo smells floral, something that survived the chaos of thepast few days. Close enough to see the pulse beating in her throat. Close enough that all I'd have to do is lean forward and?—
I step back before I do something stupid.
"Four hours," I agree. "Then back on rotation."
I head for the door but stop before leaving. "Rachel?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad you're here. Even though it's dangerous and complicated and probably a terrible idea." The words come out rough and honest. "I'm glad you're here."
Something soft moves underneath all that hard-earned survival instinct. "I'm glad I'm here too. Even though you drive me crazy and you're too careful and you think you have to carry everything alone."
I should say something. Should acknowledge the truth hanging between us.
Instead, I just nod and leave before I say something that makes this even more complicated.
She follows me out, heading back toward her quarters while I turn toward mine.
My quarters are down the corridor. Small room with a bunk and a footlocker and weapons storage built into the walls. Everything I own fits in this space because operators travel light and attachments get you killed.
Except I'm attached now whether I want to be or not. To Rachel and her fierce protectiveness and the way she refuses to let fear control her despite everything she's survived. To Lucas and his quiet bravery and the way he looks at me like I might actually be worth trusting.
I strip off the body armor and secure my weapons in proper storage. The room is exactly how I left it before Kane sent me to Tucson.
But I'm not the same person who left here.
I lie down on the bunk and stare at the ceiling. Rachel is three doors down. Close enough that if something goes wrong, I can reach her in seconds. Far enough that I might actually get some sleep.
Except sleep won't come. Not with her voice still in my head.You don't get to take responsibility for choices I made.
Kane's words echo too.You're not the same operator you were then.
Maybe I'm not. Maybe this is what it looks like to actually stay instead of running when things get complicated. To be both the operator Kane needs and the man Rachel and Lucas deserve.
I close my eyes and see her hand in mine. Feel the warmth of her palm. The calluses she earned learning to protect herself after I left.
This time I'm not leaving. This time I'm staying until the job is done and beyond. Kane trusts me to do this. Now I need to trust myself.
Four hours until I take watch again.
Long enough to rest. Not long enough to forget the weight of her hand in mine or the way she looked at me when she said she was glad to be here too.
8
RACHEL
Iwake to silence so complete it feels wrong.
No traffic noise. No neighbors. No ambient city sounds that have been the soundtrack of my life in Tucson for the past five years. Just silence broken by the distant hum of ventilation systems pushing air through a facility buried in the heart of a mountain.
