I shut my eyes briefly. “I’m so sorry, Sara.”
“Sorry forwhat?”
The muscles in my jaw work. I was fooling myself. How can this go anywhere when I’m two different people: the person I am when I’m with her, and the killer employed by Elio Rossi? But I promised her everything. I stood there last night and assured her that this was a whole lot more than just a one-night stand. I would never have taken her for ice cream if I hadn’t wanted to give her everything. I would never have lied to her. Or to myself.
No words come out.
Sara’s eyes soften. “That was Elio, wasn’t it?”
I nod.
She sighs and settles back against the plumped-up pillows. She pats the bed. “Come here.”
Meekly, I oblige. I stretch out next to her, tucking my legs under the sheets so that I can feel her bare leg against mine. Sara puts her head on my shoulder.
Idly, her fingertips trace the tattoos across my stomach.
“I know who you are, Romeo,” she says. “I knew it the first time I saw you. I know the Rossis. I know what they do, who they are.”
I tense. This is it. This is when she tells me that she likes me, but she can’t be involved in this way of life…
Sara’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “Did you mean it, when you said that you’re mine? That you took one look at me, and you just knew? That you want everything?”
“Yes,” I whisper hoarsely. The thought of not having it all, of letting her down before we’ve even gotten started, is like cutting out my own heart and handing it to her in a greasy paper bag. “We barely know each other, but I can’t imaginenever holding you in my arms again, never kissing you again, never?—”
“Saving me from the Hudson River sharks again.”
I smile. “That too.”
“Romeo…” She twists her face to peer into my eyes and strokes my jawline with her fingertip. “For a big guy who grew up thinking that he was too much for anyone to handle, you can be quite poetic when you want to be.”
“It’s a fluke. I’m panicking because I don’t want to lose you.”
“You’re not going to lose me. I told you I don’t do one-night stands.”
“But…”
“No buts. That’s it. I work in a nail salon, and you work for Elio Rossi. I still choose you. I chose you six months ago, although I didn’t think that it would take you so long to ask me out.” She pauses long enough to kiss my lips tenderly. “I will choose you again tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that, so I guess this is the life for us.”
I blink. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“Romeo, I have no intention of changing you to fit some rose-tinted lifestyle that only exists in the movies. This is you. This is us. You’ll take it all, right? I’ll take it all too.”
“Does this mean…?”
She smiles. “It means that I’ll wake up with you. You’ll go where Elio tells you to go. You’ll do what Elio tells you to do. I won’t ask questions, I won’t judge, but I’ll beg God every day to send you home to me.”
It’s too much to hope for.
I suck in a deep breath. “Sara, I can’t ask you to do this for me.”
“You’re not asking. But I’m willing to do it anyway.” There’s no mistaking the gleam in her eye.
I slide her down the bed and roll on top of her, my erection trapped between our abdomens.
“I only ask for one thing, Romeo. That you’re mine, and I’m yours. Nothing else matters. You told me that you’re not a violent man, but you’re violent by circumstance. I think you can be peaceful in the right circumstances too. And if you’ll have me, I want to be your peace.”
I shut my eyes and pull her close.
