I smile and try to think of something to say in response, but all I can think to say is that he’s not worthy of me. At one point, I thought he was. I’d hoped he was, but I know he’s not, and I have a feeling that Goose knows it, too, which is one reason why he walked away the way he did.
He walks out of the room before I can respond, thankfully, because I had nothing to add to any of that. I don’t think I’m that great, but I also know that Goose is not worthy of me right now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want him… crave him… need him…love him.
I’m a mess. I know I am, and my heart is beyond tattered. It’s shattered, and now my body is, too. Once George is gone, I decide to change into something more comfortable for the trip to Lainey’s. She’s promised to pick up a bag of clothes for my stay at her place before she heads here.
Once I’m dressed, I lie back down in the hospital bed. I’m not sure how long I'll stay there, but I don’t turn on the television or scroll on social media. I spend the time in silence, allowing myself to soak it all up.
I have a feeling there won’t be much silence anytime soon, especially once Justin realizes I’ve been released from the hospital and didn’t call him or his parents. I could have called them, but honestly, it’s better they don’t see me or even know that I’m here. I don’t want them to worry.
My spine straightens when I hear Lainey’s voice, but it’s not just her voice that has me on edge. It’s when I hear the man she’s talking to speak. Even though my brain knew it was him out there, or maybe had hoped it was, actually hearing his voice causes a reaction from my body.
GOOSE
“What are you doing here?” Laney hisses.
I watch as she marches toward me, her eyes narrowed. She looks as if steam might actually come out of her ears. She seems pissed the fuck off. I lean back in my seat, and my lips twitch into a smirk.
“I’m watching over Cidney,” I say.
“Why?”
Turning my head, I look at her closed door. The only people in and out have been a doctor and a few nurses. I’ve kept my watch and will continue to do so. Nobody is ever going to hurt Cidney again. I won’t let it happen. They’ll have to go through me.
“Because Ivy didn’t put anyone on her, so I’m going to guard her.”
“She’s safe here,” Lainey states.
“She probably is, but she was supposed to be safe in her own home, too. I was assured that the asshole was under his father’s thumb. Yet here the fuck we are.”
We stare at one another for a long moment before she rolls her eyes to the ceiling, then her gaze meets mine again. She takes a step toward me, her eyes focused and connected to my own before she speaks.
“Don’t hurt her again, Goose. That was terrible.”
“Yeah,” I grunt.
I don’t know how to tell her that things will be different. I don’t know how they can be. I can’t throw my club to the side for her, and I can’t throw her to the side for my club. I have to be with her, protect her, love her the way I was meant to.
Cidney was meant to be loved, and I’m the man who is meant to love her.
And love her well.
“I don’t plan on it,” I murmur. “Are you taking her home with you, then?”
She smiles as she watches me for a long moment in silence. When she doesn’t say anything immediately, I think she isn’t going to respond to my question.
“She’s coming home with me. She won’t be alone, and I’m not letting her go back to that apartment.”
“Good,” I state.
Lainey jerks her chin in the air and moves past me. I watch as the door opens and she slips inside the room. She doesn’t say she’s cool with me being here, but I don’t plan on watching as Cidney leaves the room, either.
I’m sure she knows I’m here, but at the same time, I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. When it’s time, I’ll make myself known, but for right now, she needs to heal, and she needs to do that without me standing above her.
I’ll keep my distance and keep her safe.
That’s what I’m good for right now, and that’s what she needs from me. I’ll work on Goffredo, I’ll work with the club, and I’ll work on Ivy. When Cidney is ready, I’ll take her to a new home.
Our home.
