My lips curve up into a grin. I take a step forward and wrap my fingers around her bicep, squeezing gently before my hand falls away. “Think nothing of it,” I say.
I don’t even know her name, and I don’t think I’ll ever know it. That’s an intimacy that isn’t for me. My hand falls from her arm, and I take a step backward. “I’m glad you’re good,” I state.
Moving away from them, I head toward the bedroom. Thankfully, they don’t try to stop me again. I’ve got plans for tonight. To drink the booze sitting on my nightstand and pass out. So as I make my way toward my bedroom, I close the door behind me and sink down on the edge of my bed, reaching for my bottle of Jack to get started.
I’m halfway through my bottle when my phone buzzes again. I pick up the stupid fucking rectangular device and stare at it,trying to concentrate long enough to make out the name. It’s not my brother this time. It’s his wife.
It takes me a moment to slide my thumb across the screen. I miss it a few times, then finally get it before I lift it to my ear.
“Zadie?” I ask.
“It’s Cidney,” she says, her voice soft as if she’s barely speaking above a whisper.
I don’t ask her about Cidney. It doesn’t matter. It’s not my business. She is doing her own fucking thing, and I am not permitted to be part of it. So I don’t say a single fucking thing. Instead, I just hum as I wait for her to finish what the fuck she’s got to say.
“She’s been hurt.”
I make a fist with my hand and rub the center of my chest. Inhaling a deep breath, I hold it for a moment, then let it out slowly. It’s then that I say something, and I hate myself for saying it.
“It’s not my place to care, Zadie. Please don’t call me about her again.”
Ending the call, I pinch my eyes closed before I open them, reach my hand back, and throw my phone across the room. It smashes against the wall, and I continue to drink until the room spins and I fall down to the mattress.
Fuck Cidney.
Fuck Ivy.
Fuck everyone.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
GOOSE
The room is still spinningwhen the sun spills onto my face. I force myself to push up to a sitting position. I’m pretty sure I could stay in bed for another hour, maybe even a week at this point. Blinking a few times, I try to regain my wits about me. I’m not sure it works, though. The room continues to whirl, so I don’t know how well I’m doing, but I try.
The sudden urge to piss is stronger than my imbalance, so unless I’m going to piss in my sheets, I’m going to need to stand my ass up. Straightening from the bed, I sway as I make my way to the bathroom. It’s a long, slow shuffle, and I almost fall on my ass more than once during my travels.
After pissing, I decide I need some water and maybe another shot and a beer. The water for hydration, the beer to keep me a little drunk and hopefully get rid of the creeping headache, fat-head feeling, and the nausea.
I’m not sure it’ll work, but I’ll try it anyway.
I scrub my palm down my face, trying to wake myself up. That definitely doesn’t work. In fact, I feel even more fucking dragged down than I did when I forced myself out of bed to piss.
The club is quiet, thank fuck. The prospect behind the bar doesn’t even ask me what I want. Before I can say a word, he’s there in front of me, placing down a shot, then a beer, and finally a water. I start with the water. It only takes me seconds to finish. Then I down the shot next, before I take a pull from the beer.
I should probably get another water, to be honest, but I decide beer is close enough to water and will likely hydrate me about the same at this point.
“You’re kind of a fucked-up mess,” a voice states next to me.
Turning my head, I look over to see Peecan standing beside me. His road name still amuses me, but at this moment, I don’t have the inclination to laugh. He shifts his attention over to me, his eyes finding mine and holding my gaze with his.
“Yeah. Bitches and brothers will do that to you.”
He chuckles. “I guess they will, won’t they?”
He doesn’t ask me anything personal, although he knows I’m here as a nomad, so he probably knows the basics of my story, and at least he knows that I am here to get away from where I was.
“What do you want?” I ask.
