CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
GOOSE
Bullet’s eyeswiden at my demand to leave. I can tell he’s surprised. I would be too. I thought this was my life, that I would stay here until the day I died, but shit changes, and obviously, this isn’t what I want anymore.
Call it bruised ego or pride, I don’t know, but when Bullet speaks, I want to tell him to fuck right off, to kick rocks, and eat a bag of dicks all at the same time. I don’t. Instead, my chin dips and my gaze flicks down to my feet.
“Don’t make a hasty decision. Ivy might come around.”
Lifting my head, I cross my arms over my chest and snort. “No, he won’t. And after the year I’ve had, I’m ready to cut bait and run. I need a fucking breather.” It’s not a lie. It’s not me trying to get out of work or anything else. It’s just the fucking truth of it all.
Bullet nods his head a couple of times. I can tell he doesn’t like any of this, but I also don’t give a fuck. When he speaks again, I can tell he is torn. He’s torn between being my friend and my president.
“You’re my treasurer, Goose. I don’t see how I can just let you walk away.”
Moving toward the desk, I bend slightly and place my palms on the desk as my gaze focuses on his. “I don’t give a fuck, Bullet. Give it to someone else.”
“Goose.” His voice is soft and almost sad.
“Give it to someone else,” I grind out. “I don’t want it.”
I don’t want to hear his sadness. I don’t give a fuck about it. I want to get the hell out of here. When I was voted in as treasurer, I thought it was so fucking great. I strutted around like a goddamn peacock for weeks.
Now it seems like nothing but a burden.
I don’t want any part of it. I want away from this clubhouse and out of Thunder Rock as soon as humanly fucking possible. Pushing off the desk, I stand tall and at attention before I take a step backward.
“I trust you, Goose.”
“I can’t be near Ivy.”
And it’s the fucking truth of it. I don’t want to be anywhere near that bastard. If I see him again, I’m really not sure how that’s going to play out. I want to follow the rules and not be invested in the situation, but at the same time, I love Cidney. He took that away from me, and now she’s fucking someone else.
God.
The thought of another man touching her makes me want to murder someone, anyone, really. I don’t think I would give a fuck who I killed at this point. A body would be a body, and every body would remind me of Ivy.
“You can nomad to Wilmington. It’s close enough, but also far enough away.”
He’s right, but it doesn’t feel like it’s far enough. I want to be all the way on the other side of the country. I don’t tell him that,though, as much as I want to. Instead, I dip my chin in a single nod.
“I’ll take it.”
He could have offered me anything, and I would have taken it at this point. I don’t tell him that. Bullet dips his chin and clears his throat. He leans back in his chair, his eyes finding mine.
“And you’ll come back.”
I start to tell him that I won’t be back, not fucking ever, but I decide against it. I don’t know the future, and to make a claim like that is really stupid.
Plus, Maverick and my niece and nephew are here, so it would be stupid to say I’ll never be back, because I will at some point, but maybe not in the club sense. So I don’t, even if I want to. And I really want to, because I don’t plan on ever coming back to Thunder Rock in a club member capacity.
“Pick someone to be the treasurer while I’m away. I don’t mind,” I say. I don’t fucking care, not really.
I have no fucking plans ever to be in this clubhouse again after I pack my shit and head to Wilmington. I’ll come to visit the kids, to visit my brother and Zadie, but even then, it’s going to be a good goddamn while.
Bullet dips his head, then writes something down on the sheet of paper in front of him. I don’t ask what he’s writing. I don’t care too much. I just want him to agree to what I’m asking and let me get gone.
“We have a shipment going out in that direction. You and Viking can go together, and then you can stay.”
