“What the fuck?” I ask.
“You good?” Shocker asks from a few seats down.
Swinging my head to the side, I look over at him. “I’m too fucking drunk to see what the fuck is going on here. Can you make it out?” I ask.
I cannot remember the last time I drank this much. Maybe when I was a teenager, but it’s been at least a decade since I was so drunk I couldn’t focus on my phone. What the fuck does it matter, though, if I’m drunk or sober? Cidney isn’t here. Maverick can have his woman, but I can’t have fucking shit.
“It’s a video of Cidney walking out of her apartment. Looks like she’s headed out.”
“Headed out?” I ask.
“On the town.”
My stomach twists at the thought of her going out anywhere without me. What the fuck? I start to say that, then realize it’s not my fucking business. I don’t bother trying to look at my phone again after Shocker slides it toward me.
Doesn’t fucking matter.
I continue drinking. Then, when the bottle is gone, and I can’t feel my legs, I decide to try to make my way to my bedroom. I only get about three steps before I fall down on the hard cement floor.
In my head, I know that should have hurt, but I’ve had so much to drink that nothing fucking hurts. I can’t feel a goddamn thing, not even my brain. Thankfully, someone takes pity on me, and I feel my body being lifted on each side of me.
Looking to one side, I see Piggy. Shifting my head to the other side, I see Viking. They drag my ass out of the bar and down the hallway until they reach my room. Mercifully, they don’t drop me on the floor there. They’re nice enough to toss me onto my bed.
“I fucked up,” I say, though the words don’t sound right to my ears, but I can’t process why.
Piggy is the one who speaks, and when he does, his words don’t register immediately. “You didn’t fuck up. You fell in love, but Ivy can’t accept that. Give it some time. He’ll come around.”
Then there is silence, and I’m not sure if that’s because they leave or if it’s because I pass out. I’m pretty sure it’s because I pass out cold. I’m not sure how long I sleep, but when I wake up, it’s with a dry mouth, a headache, and the feeling of massive regret.
CHAPTER TWENTY
CIDNEY
“Girl,”Lainey cries. She laughs softly, shaking her head from side to side. “You are fucking crazy.”
My lips curve up into a grin. I am not crazy. What I am is seriously sad. I motion for the bartender to come over. I need another shot. I don’t know how many I’ve had, which is why she thinks I’m crazy.
I’m not.
But what I do need is a million shots. I should have stayed home. This isn’t much of a distraction. Not when with each shot, it makes me think more and more about him.
Trent Fairfax.
“I love him,” I confess. “What the hell am I going to do?”
Lifting the shot glass to my lips, I swallow the entire shot at once, pinching my eyes closed as I wait for the burn. It doesn’t come, but that’s because I’ve had so much to drink that my throat is numb.
Lainey shakes her head. She leans forward, her gaze connecting with mine. She doesn’t look away from me. Shereaches out, wrapping her fingers around my forearm, and squeezes gently.
“You’re going to be fine. I promise,” she whispers. “Let’s go home.”
Jumping off the barstool, I shake my head. “I’m not ready to go yet.” I say the words, but my body sways, because I really should be going home. But I’m not ready to be alone. “It’s my first night.”
“Okay,” Lainey says, although she sounds slightly exhausted by my antics.
I would be too.
I’m not much of a drinker, and I’ve probably drunk more than I’ve had in a whole lifetime just tonight. But I’m sad, and I don’t want to be sad anymore. I don’t want to feel anything. I’m not sure what I want, but I know for certain what I don’t. And that’s to go home to my empty apartment. I don’t want that at all.
