She’d lost our baby. I needed her in my arms, but instead we were both in hospital thousands of miles apart.
I did get some sleep, but my dreams were all of Andie crying on the floor of the hospital asking why I hadn’t gone to her. Did I not love her anymore? I woke the next morning with wet eyes to see my mother’s worried face watching me.
“Hey, sweetheart. Dad’s gone home to rest. I brought your book for you,” she said quietly and pointed to my nightstand. She looked tired. Her eyes were half closed and the bags beneath them were clearly visible. “How are you?”
“Thanks. I’m a little sore and my head swims when I try to sit up, but otherwise, I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not, Morgan. You’re not okay,” she said softly in a way that only mothers can when they know you’re trying to hide your true feelings.
“No, I’m not. We lost our baby, Mum, and I can’t even be there to hold her.” I sobbed and my mother climbed onto the bed to hold me.
I cried into her arms until there were no more tears left. She hugged me tightly then let go and sat back in the chair.
I looked into my mother’s eyes. “How is she?”
Her bottom lip quivered and her eyes glistened. “Physically, she’s okay. She has to wait a few days before she can fly, but she’shurting, love. She thinks she’s let you down and it’s breaking her.”
“What? How can she think that? She hasn’t let me down. I love her. I’m grateful I didn’t lose her,” I cried.
“I know, love. I’m glad we didn’t lose her, too. She’s been texting me nonstop for updates on you.” She smiled and her phone vibrated. “I’ll bet that’s her now.”
I sat up slowly, I needed to know she was okay. “Is it her?”
“Yes, she says to tell you she misses you,” my mother replied, texting back on her phone.
“Tell her I miss her too.” My voice broke.
“Here you go, why don’t you tell her. I’ll go and grab us a coffee, okay?” Mum said, handing me her phone.
I fired off a text to Andie.
M: Hey Andie, it’s Morgan. My phone was wrecked in the crash. I’m okay, a bit bruised and battered, but okay. How are you? I wish I could be there with you.
A: I wish you were here, too. Should be able to fly day after tomorrow. Glad you’re doing better. I’m sorry I let you down.
Tears streamed down my face, I couldn’t call her, couldn’t hear her voice, it would break me. I needed to try to be strong for her. Instead, I pressed the voice message option.
“Hey baby, I miss you so much. I’m so sorry that I can’t be there with you. I just want to hold you. And I’m sorry—” My voice broke, and my breath hitched. “I’m sorry about the baby. You haven’t let me down, Andie, not one bit. I love you so fucking much and I’m grateful I didn’t lose you.”
I pressed send and put the phone onto the side table. The pain in my chest was unbearable and I’d not felt anything like it before. Even when Brooke had cheated on me. I thought that was devastating, but this was on a whole other level.
“Hey, sweetheart, here you go.” My mother handed me a coffee in a cardboard cup. “Did you talk to Andie?”
“We texted and I left her a voice message. I can barely talk at the moment without breaking down, and I know as soon as I hear her voice I will break. She doesn’t need me adding to that now.” I tried to gather my thoughts before I carried on. “I just want her to know how I feel, to really understand it and then say she loves me back.”
“Well, this might cheer you up. When we were in Spain, she told us that you two had been texting. She seemed happy about it.”
“And?”
If she’d talked with the girls about us that had to be good news, right? In my excitement I tried to sit up, but the room spun, my head felt too heavy to hold up, and I had to lie back down.
“She was really positive about you two getting back together.” My mother smiled and squeezed my arm.
“When you were away, I bought her a bracelet. I was planning on setting up the bar, making it all romantic and asking her to get back together, but properly this time.”
“Planning on? You’re not going to do it now?” my mother asked, taking a sip of her coffee.
“I’m still going to do it, but after all of this, I think I’ll have to wait for the right time.”
