A: Yeah, just couldn’t concentrate, Lauren sent me home.
M: Thinking about me, huh? Lol.
A: I was thinking about you, certain parts of you anyway ;)
M: Oh yeah? Glad I made an impression.
A: You certainly did. What are you up to?
M: Just put Charlie back down.
A: Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.
M: You’re never a bother. It’s really good to hear from you.
A: I’ll let you get to bed. Night x
M: I wish I was in your bed. Night, beautiful.
Fuck, I wished he was in my bed, too. Messaging with him gave me a warm feeling in my stomach and my heart beat a little bit better after.
It had been two weeks since our first full sexual encounter in my office. Between our work commitments and Morgan having Charlie every other night, we had been stealing quick, hot moments. It was never long enough before one of us had to dash off, though he had stayed overnight with me a few times after I had finished work.
He’d brought a bag of clothes and toiletries for those nights he’d spent with me and had to go to work straight from mine. Mostly, he would go back home, which was a relief, and I was able to get some clarity. It was hard to think when he was close to me for long periods; my mind became clouded, and I lost interest in everything else around me. All I could focus on was him.
He had texted me earlier that day to see if he and the boys could come to the club. I’d explained he was still on the VIP list, and asked if he would like to come in the car with me. When he agreed, I asked the girls to make their own way there so we could talk.
“Hey beautiful,” he said as he climbed into the car and pulled me close to him.
His aftershave overpowered my senses and the feel of his hands on my thighs turned my mind to jelly.
“Wait, we need to talk.” I pushed him gently away and moved back.
“Uh oh, this can’t be good.” He let out a huge sigh and looked at me sadly.
I took a deep breath, clamping my hands together so he wouldn’t see them shake. “Don’t look at me like that. I just wanted to say that I’ve enjoyed the time we’ve been spending together, but?—”
Morgan crossed his arms as he huffed out his annoyance.
“But,” I carried on, ignoring his irritation, “I still don’t want a relationship. I’m not ready for that yet. I was thinking, would friends with benefits work for you?”
“What does friends with benefits mean to you exactly?”
“Well, we’re friends who…” What the hell did I say? Sorry, I don’t want all of you, just your cock?
“Fuck?” He smirked, and I couldn’t help smiling.
“And do we get to fuck other people, too? I mean, if it’s not a relationship…”
Fuck, that was a punch to the heart. Thinking about him with another woman hurt more than I wanted to admit, but how could I ask him to be faithful to me when all he wanted was a proper relationship? I was the one who didn’t. It would be selfish of me to expect that from him.
“If that’s what you want, then yes. We can have sex with other people.” I tried to keep the hurt from my voice.
“And if I don’t want that? If I just want us to be the only friends with benefits?” His posture had gone stiff, his mouth set into a thin line.
“Then that’s good with me, too.” He huffed and sat back, looking out of the car window with his jaw clenched.
The rest of the drive went by in silence, both of us lost in thought. I knew I could lose him completely over it, but it was still early on and at least neither of us would be hurt… much.
