Not only with my relationship with Jett, but also living alone.
We ate dinner with the family, then Jett followed Griffin and me to the condos. He helped us get all our stuff inside and even played with my little guy for a while. Saying goodnight had been a bit awkward for the two of us and a struggle for my son. While he said he understood earlier, he still struggled letting him go even just down the hall.
But with the emotional rollercoaster we’d had that day, Griffin crashed after his bath, and I was left alone with my thoughts. I stared at the ceiling in my new room, sleep eluding me once again. There had been too many sleepless nights over the last couple of months.
I grabbed my phone off the nightstand, and my fingers hovered over the screen, itching to text Jett. Being alone was not something I truly felt comfortable with, as I’d never done it before. While living with my mother and stepfather didn’t bring happy memories, there’d still been others in the house with me.
However, moving into Gramps’s place with all the family, there had not only been many other people always around, but there was also pure joy, love, and a sense of unity every day.
You can do this.
Did I have to do it completely alone, though?
Jett had said before leaving that he was right down the hall, and if I needed anything, to let him know. A puff of air slipped from my lips when I let out a tiny laugh. What would he think if I texted him and told him that I needed him in bed with me?
There had been so many times when he and I had fallen asleep next to each other—either when one of us was sick, having a hard day, or just talked until we both conked out. We’d never crossed a line, maintaining our best friends-only status, but it had crossed my mind on several occasions.
Nope, the one time on New Year’s Eve was the first timewe’d kissed, until a few days ago when I took it upon myself and pressed my lips to his. His mouth felt heavenly both times. But it was his voice I needed to hear before I could go to sleep.
So many nights when he was in the military or missing, even when he was saved, I longed for his voice to be the last thing I heard. He was right down the hall, so why deny myself?
I dialed.
“Patience?” Jett answered on the first ring, his voice laced with concern. “Are you okay?”
Not really, but I’m trying to be.
I may have thought that, but that wasn’t what I said. “Yeah, just not used to being alone.”
A heavy sigh came through the line. “I’m sorry.”
Crap, I shouldn’t have called him. I didn’t want him to feel bad.
“No, it’s okay.” I rubbed the silk fabric of the sheet between my finger and thumb nervously. “I just miss you, even with you down the hall, and I needed to hear your voice before I could go to sleep.”
I was met with silence and wondered if he’d hung up, but when I looked at the phone, the call was still connected. When I put it back to my ear, I finally got my response. Instead of deflection or the same old excuses about what he couldn’t be, he shocked me with his admission.
“Every day that I was gone, I missed you, and I miss you now too.”
My belly fluttered at his words and tender tone.
“I think I can go to sleep now. Night, Jett.”
“Night, Roo.”
When we hung up, warmth spread through me, but it had nothing to do with the blankets I’d pulled up around me and snuggled into.
No, it had everything to do with his confession, the nickname, just hearing him before I went to sleep, and the hope that trickled through me that maybe one day things would be exactly as I dreamed.
Yeah, it had everything to do with myhusband.
Chapter Twelve
JETT
How did that old saying go?
I believed it was something about jumping straight out of the frying pan and into the fire— something that we might very well be about to do.
