Thinking of sleep made me imagine what it would be like if a brown-haired, brown-eyed girl were cuddled up next to me in bed. Would lying next to her chase the nightmares away?
I couldn’t take the chance.
What If I tried and I hurt her? That was why she needed to find a good man, not one crippled with PTSD. The thought of her with someone else was like a dagger to my heart. I was almost twenty-three and had never been with a woman.
Because none of them had been Patience.
There had been opportunities, but I’d wanted nothing to do with a single one. She’d been it for me and always would be even if I couldn’t be with her.
On that depressing thought, the water ran cold—another shitty aspect of the crappy motel— and I shivered in misery.
“Don’t make me walk over there and smack you; I’m tired.”
I stared down into the frothy, amber liquid that the bartender slid in front of me and thought about my conversation with Dusty earlier in the day.
The girl was tough, and I had no doubt she would have made her way over to me to do what she’d threatened to do. I’m sure I would have deserved it if she had; I just knew she was tired. I’d stopped in just as she had finished physical therapy.
So, I moved closer to her. That way she didn’t have to come to me if the desire to hit me truly struck.
“Nice of you to make it easier if necessary.” Dusty chuckled. “When are you going to pull your head out of your ass?”
I raised my brows.
Dusty sighed. “Go home to your girl, Jett. Stop dicking around and do what you had planned to do before things got fucked up.”
Not sure when the last time I’d laughed was, for some odd reason, one burst free. “You really got a potty mouth on you.”
“Did you honestly just say potty mouth?” Now she was laughing.
For a second, the laughter between us was freeing, but then I sobered.
I thought about Griffin and all the kids at home. We had to watch what we said to set a good example, and the guys joked about us watching our potty mouths. We really had to watch it with Embry around, hand out, waiting to collect money for her swear jar at every turn.
“I see that look, so I’ll say it again. Go home.”
Blowing out a breath, I tried to think of something to get out of the conversation. The look in Dusty’s eyes said that wouldn’t happen. “Who's gonna watch out for you if I go?”
She reached out and touched my arm. “Me, myself, and I. You did your duty and watched out for me when I needed it most. Jett, I’m alive because of you. You saved me.”
Looking down at the floor, I started to say, “I didn’t?—”
“Please don’t. Just accept that you were my hero and leave it at that.” She sniffed and I looked back to see tears swimming in her eyes. “Besides, soon I’ll be home, and who knows, maybe one day we will see each other again.”
“Of course we will,” I told her, no doubt that one day our paths would cross again. We’d been through a lot together, and she was not only my teammate, but a friend.
She gave me a small smile.
As far as the hero part, I didn’t believe that, but she seemed to need to say it, so I left that alone and said what else was on my mind. “I’m not the man she needs, and I don’t know if I can watch her with someone else at some point.”
Dusty grasped my hand. “Patience has been and will always be lucky to have you. You deserve to have the life you hoped to have.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes before I decided it wastime for me to go. I could tell she was getting tired. Dusty was still on her way to recovery, both physically and mentally.
As I said goodbye and headed for the door, she said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope never to see you in here again.”
I grinned even though she couldn’t see me. Couldn’t help it. Dusty always said exactly what was on her mind.
“And Jett?”
