I hadn’t realized I’d sighed and hated that I’d disturbed her. She needed her rest. It was my job to protect her, to curb the worries going around in her head, and to take care of this family that I’d been blessed to now be part of.
“Don’t try and get out of not telling me what you are thinking.” River raised her head, resting her palms on my chest and laying her chin on top of her hands as she pinned me with her stare. “I want to know what you’re thinking. We are a team and I need to be there for you too.”
Her voice was stern, but the slight waver in it told me how much me sharing and letting her take care of me meant to her.
I lifted my arm and stroked my hand down her soft locks. “I have a lot running through this big brain of mine,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood before I asked a question I knew was a doozy.
She rolled her eyes and I gave a small chuckle—my chest moving as I did—which had her head bouncing up and down.
“Big brain, my a—”, she started but stopped herself before letting the last word slip out, a cheeky smile lifting her perfectly, kissable lips.
I couldn’t help myself.
Placing my hands under her armpits, I dragged her up mybody until I could reach her mouth then give her a soft kiss. Now it was her turn to sigh and the sound was magnificent because I knew it meant she was as affected with just the simple touch as I was.
She shimmied back down my body a tad and settled back into place, her eyes boring into mine. “Tell me?”
Here went nothing because I knew I wasn’t getting out of it and she wasn’t going to try to go back to sleep until I confided in her about what I’d been thinking.
“We’ve never talked about it, but when I saw you holding Lola tonight, I couldn’t help wondering if you ever thought about having a baby?” Her violet eyes swirled with emotion and then she put her forehead down on my chest so I couldn’t read what was brewing inside her head. “Sweetheart, I know you are an exceptional mother. I just…”
Her head snapped up, catching me off guard and I stopped mid-sentence.
“I never thought about a baby because I knew it wasn’t possible.”
Possible?
River nibbled her lower lip as usual and I watched as she tried to gather her words. “How would one have a baby if they were never going to have sex?”
She lifted her head off her hand and waved one into the air. “Don’t answer that. I know there are ways, but for me having a baby somehow represented the act of making love with someone and I was never going to do that.”
Her hand fell back to my chest and she began making circles around my nipple, unaware of the reaction it was creating below the sheets. Before I could stop it, I made a hissing noise and her hand stilled, her eyes widening with comprehension.
Then they heated with desire.
The same desire I felt any time she was near mirrored her own right then.
“But maybe that isn’t true any longer and tonight I realized it might actually be possible.”
My heart raced. What exactly was she saying?
“Yeah. What changed, sweetheart?”
River leaned down and placed her lips to my chest and kissed me directly over my heart before looking back up and meeting my gaze.
“I metyou,” she whispered.
Holy shit, the woman did me in.
Once again, I pulled her up so I could lay my lips against hers.
I put everything I was feeling into the kiss.
Chapter Forty-One
RIVER
Two weekslater it wasn’t the scare outside my work that I was thinking about.
