As I made my way out the back door, my sister at my side, my nerves kicked up a notch. Seeing everyone I knew wouldn’t be easy, but it was the man’s gaze on mine the second we emerged that had me fighting for control of my airway.
My eyes had immediately gone to him and we seemed to be in some sort of staring contest. Even though humiliation over my reaction to him earlier sat heavy in my gut and embarrassment heated my face, I couldn’t look away.
Everything about the man was all-consuming. His looks, his protective nature, the authority he demanded without ever being mean about it and the way he’d taken charge and took care of me after the fire, it was so overwhelming.
Don’t think about it.
I needed a Huntley repellant that kept him far, far away.
Because I had no doubt the man would bite.
And that was never happening.
I’d found myself protesting everything about him over and over since the day I’d met him, but as he looked at me, all of that seemed to disappear. My heart knocked hard against my chest as he took me in and something akin to understanding glistened in the depths of his warm, dark green eyes.
My reaction to him baffled me. Nobody had ever gotten under my skin the way he did and yet I was getting confused if it was a bad or good thing.
From across the patio, his gaze sank deep into my soul and I felt myself settling a bit. Then his mouth moved slowly so I could read the silent word that left his lips.
Warrior.
The flutter in my belly wasn’t something I could seem to control any more than the small smile I sent his way. And when I saw the look on his face morph into that of someonewho’d just won a million dollars, the butterflies that had been fluttering took flight.
I wasn’t sure there was a repellent strong enough to stop anyone’s reaction to Huntley, me included. My breathing turned ragged, making me feel as though I might hyperventilate. Not once in my life had I ever been…
What? What was this feeling rippling through every cell in my body?
Lake’s voice penetrated the haze I was in. “What’s going on? River, you need to take a deep breath.”
I did as she said and then words I never meant to say out loud or ever acknowledge left my trembling lips.
“I’m attracted to him.”
With my gaze still on Huntley, I saw his face turn into a mask of concern as he started to take a slow step toward me. My eyes rounded in panic and I quickly looked toward Lake, who I noticed shook her head slightly, I assumed to stop the man’s progression.
Bless her.
“I can’t be,” I whispered.
My sister tipped her head, a gentle smile and sympathetic look on her face. “You’ve never had those feelings before?”
Hell no I hadn’t. After everything I’d been through, I’d never encountered a man who flipped my insides the way Huntley did. I’d felt it when he carried me out of my burning house, but it scared me.
Still does.
“No. I just...” I worked to control my breathing. “Lake, I just can’t.”
She slowly, so as not to startle me, reached out her hand and laid it on my arm.Great, everyone is afraid to scare me now.“You’re in control of what you can and can’t do. Nobody is forcing you to do anything.”
I reared back a little at her words. “That hasn’t always been true.”
What the hell was wrong with me today? It wasn’t sharing time. I shared with my kids but nobody else. And then I realized that wasn’t true. There had been one other person long ago that I’d found myself confiding in like nobody else.
She’d been my angel and then I’d run away, never to see her again.
But she’d saved me.
“Sis, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened to you, but you have me and so many people in your life that want to be there for you. I told you before, I’m here if you ever want to talk.”
