I’d seen that look before as a child. It was one I worked hard to forget and yet there I was on the receiving end of it. As if I were going to strike her when I extended my hand toward her, River’s orbs flashed quick as lightning with stark fear.
My mom had worn the same expression too many times to count, but for her things usually ended exactly like she’d thought they would. I wasn’t fucking lying when I told Lennon I would never hurt his mom or any other woman. But I understood that neither he nor River had any reason to trust me.
Even if that hurt a bit.
I didn’t mean to scare her, but when the stray strands of hair had fallen into her gorgeous face, I reached out without thought, driven by the same irresistible pull she’d had on me since the moment I first met her a few months back at Lake’s wedding, the bride being one of my co-workers at the fire department.
River had captivated me with her mesmerizing violet-colored eyes at first glance. They were extraordinary and I’d never seen anything like them in all my thirty-two years. To my dismay, the woman wouldn’t give me the time of day that evening. She worked very hard to remain unnoticed.
But that wasn’t possible.
Unable to keep my gaze off her, I watched every emotion she was feeling shimmer in the depths of her rare and transfixing eyes. I’d felt the same draw to her the second time she was in my presence, the night her home had burned to the ground. And then I’d found myself at her new home with gifts in tow, unable to stay away because the desire to be near River was so strong.
Three encounters and she never seemed thrilled to see me.
Yet, every look she gave me, or that I witnessed, was memorable and would always be burned into my brain. But it’s the one she directed my way, the one filled with unmistakable fear and terror when she flinched away from me, that would haunt me forever.
Right then, I had two goals in mind. First, to prove to River that she could trust me. Second, to find anyone that hurt her, and make them pay.
Why? I couldn’t quite explain it. I’d had women throw themselves at me while in the military and later as a firefighter, but I’ve never been about racking up notches on my bed posts. I always wanted something more.
My mother taught me how to treat a lady, while my father showed me how not to.
He was a mean bastard. Seeing my mother hurt at the hands of the man who was supposed to care for her, or to hear the way he belittled her, had been extremely hard. I’d understood some of this even at an early age and the rest from talking to my mom over the years.
It was, however, after he turned his hands on me for the first time—at age five—that my mother finally got the strength to take me and get the hell out of dodge.
Thankfully for us, he didn’t follow.
We survived and I could see River had too.
Something about her spoke to me in a way nobody else ever had. She may have been timid and distrustful, scared, and shy, but she was so much more. She was brave; I’d seen that firsthand when she carried her niece out of her house, flames flying all around her, and still ran back in for her daughter's dog.
I’d witnessed her backbone when she tried kicking me out of the hospital room before I was ready to leave, wanting to make sure she and her kids would be okay. And I also saw the love in her eyes when she spoke to the two teens she had adopted so she could give them a better life.
One they undoubtedly deserved.
The woman I couldn’t get out of my head was like the raging water she was named after. River was unpredictable, strong, a force to be reckoned with, wild, and beautiful.
Something told me she’d fought many battles. Ones that she’d lost, which had put the haunted look in her eyes that I’d seen as she walked away, leaving me feeling ruined. And while I needed to let her have her space, a war waged inside me. I wanted to go to her. To tell her I was sorry for scaring her. And to tell her…
I scrubbed my hands down my face. Shit, I sounded like a crazy person. I barely knew the woman and I wanted to… what? Erase all the bad memories she might have? Be the shoulder she cried on? Fight any battles she may have in the future? Take care of her and the kids?
Well fuck. Crazy was an understatement. If anyone could read my mind, they might have me committed to a mental health facility.
“Hey, man. Are you coming?” Bronson asked, having left, but now returning.
Letting out a deep sigh, I answered, “Yeah, right behind you this time.”
After giving one last glance toward the hallway that River had disappeared down, I followed Bronson. In time she would make her way out to everyone and win another battle I knew she was fighting.
I didn’t call her a warrior for nothing.
The small talkwas starting to grate on my nerves.
I stood at the grill with Bronson as he flipped burgers, a beer in hand, talking about anything except the one thing that I knew was on both our minds. It was probably not my place to broach the subject since I hardly knew River.
Even if a part of me felt as if I’d known her forever.
