“Thanks for bringing me home,” I said, ringing my hands together tightly, not knowing what to say.
“Lake…”
My name just hung in the air for a few seconds. Then Bronson let out a deep sigh.
“What time do you need to leave tomorrow so you have time to go back to Ruby’s for your car and to make it to work?”
I was sure that wasn’t what he was thinking or going to say when he said my name, but we were back to the logistics and nothing personal.
It was probably for the best.
“I work from six pm to six am. So I guess if you could grab me around four-thirty tomorrow just to be safe that would be great.”
“Give me your number,” he said, pulling his cell from his pocket. “If anything changes you can call me. I’ll text you so you have mine.”
Seconds after rattling off my number, I heard my phone chime with an incoming text from inside my purse where I’d dropped in on the entryway table by the door.
“Thanks,” I replied softly.
“Who stays with Stormi at night?” he inquired, then held up a hand, stopping me. “Sorry, that isn’t my business, I shouldn’t have asked.”
Standing there for so long with Bronson, talking about my life, had my stomach in knots. I’d longed for him to come back and be part of our lives, but too many years had gone by. He’d meant everything, talking to him should have been easy.
But it felt like my heart was playing an epic game of tug-of-war.
On one end, I wanted to yank him into my arms and hug him like I used to. Then tell him everything I felt and all that had happened while he was gone. On the other end, I wanted to lose the crazy feelings, remind myself how much he hurt me, and send him flying right out the door.
“It’s okay. There’s a couple that lives on the lake with their daughter, who goes to college close by. Stormi loves her and she nannies for me at night to earn money. She’s been amazing.”
I smiled. My daughter really did adore Gretchen. “It’s hard to leave her, but nights pay better and it allows me three days off with her. Plus I get to take her and pick her up from school when it’s not summer.” I smiled. “I love this time of year. More time with my girl.”
After my word vomit, it was obvious which side won that round of tug-of-war.
Old feelings: one. Hurt feelings: zero.
Then I remembered something that was bothering me.
“Hey, where did you go just now?” Bronson looked at me, concerned. “One minute you were smiling and the next you were frowning.”
I looked up at the ceiling and then back at him. “It’s probably nothing, but I said I would let you guys help. I just wasn’t going to get into it tonight. But now that we are talking about the nighttime routine, I worry if it’s for the best after the weird thing that happened.”
He nodded. “I think you’re right to worry. Don’t discount your instincts. Let’s get something set up with the guys and see what we can do.”
“Okay, you’re right,” I told him.
Bronson grabbed my hand and a tingle raced up my arm. “In the meantime, I’m here for you.”
I shook my head. As wonderful as that sounded, I couldn’t get hurt again. If I let him in and he walked away again…
“Lake, I meant what I said when I told you that I fucked up.” He blew out a breath. “We were best friends and I walked away from you. It’s just that friendship wasn’t all I was feeling and you deserved to enjoy the rest of high school. It wasn’t right for me to ask you to wait around for me.”
My mouth dropped open in shock. Then anger quickly replaced it.
“I can’t do this.” I yanked my hand from his grasp and furiously pulled the door open with the other, almost ripping it off the hinges. “You have to go. Please, you have to gonow.”
Uncontrollable tears started pouring down my cheeks and I needed them to stop. I cried enough when he left. I cried when his father died. And I cried when my parents passed away. Then there were the times I cried for my daughter when she shed tears because kids were mean to her at school.
I should be damn well cried out, but the tears wouldn’t stop. They rolled down my cheeks faster than a runaway train.
