Grace, the foster mother, walked over and knelt in front of Autumn, and spoke softly to her. “Do you want to come closer and meet your sister?”
The little girl's eyes raised a tiny bit and she peeked over at me. The striking blue eyes, something that looked exactly like Jett’s, hit my chest dead center and I fell in love with the blue-eyed angel in a split second just as I had the night our mother had brought my brother to us.
“I know she is very excited to meet you,” Grace added.
Janet and Daniel, who was Grace's husband, stood in the kitchen a ways away watching, but staying quiet. I looked over at Janet with a pleading stare that screamed, help! She gave me a reassuring nod that said remember what we talked about. Janet said to be patient, that these things can take time, and they still had no idea what Autumn had truly been through, but being left alone at her age at night was probably one of many things that scared her.
As I listened to Grace, my heart broke. I’d told Lyric I was the lucky one and I truly was. I was beginning to realize for the first time that my mother’s abandonment shaped many things about who I was and how I felt, but my brother and sister had gone through things I never had to with my grandparents.
Lyric had told me to never discount my feelings and I wasn’t, but I was learning I was strong enough to break through the barriers she created.
I took a deep breath. “Autumn, sweetie, I’m so happy to get to see you. And wait until you meet your brother, grandpa, and our friends.” I didn’t want to explain about Lyric, but I also realized that I’d probably scared her by talking about others so soon.
However, the opposite happened. She lifted her head again and looked at me. Then slowly her feet started shuffling across the wood grain laminate floor right toward me. I held my breath, then it swooshed out of me when Autumn reached me and put her teddy bear in my lap.
I heard a big intake of breath and glanced at Grace who had both hands covering her mouth. Her eyes were wide with amazement. When she dropped her hands a smile played on her face and I knew my instincts had been right about how nice and caring the couple had been. And I said a quiet thank you that it was where Autumn had been brought to until she could be brought home.
My sister walked away and my happiness plummeted but I had to remind myself that her coming to me was a small achievement. Even if it took a million baby steps, we’d get there. But then another astonishing thing happened. Autumn had walked over to grab a book off a little shelf they had set up in the corner of the room and before I knew it she was back.
And then she floored everyone when she climbed up in my lap and pointed at the book silently telling me to read.
Not just one, but three books later, we played with some other toys as I quietly talked to her about our home, her bedroom, and her family. Before it was time to leave, something which pierced my heart because it was without her, I asked her if she wanted to meet her grandpa, brother, and Lyric tomorrow.
While she didn’t answer with words, her face lit up a fraction and she nodded her head up and down. We worked that out and then had to say our goodbyes.
I shoved back the tears threatening to spill over not wanting my sister to see me cry. I was so happy and sad all at the same time. She was beautiful and meeting her went so much better than I imagined, but I wanted to pick her up and bring her with me.
I hoped it would happen soon.
While the others gave us some space, I squatted down to tell Autumn it was time for me to leave. She walked over and gave me a fierce hug I had not at all expected but accepted graciously. And those tears, I couldn’t hold them all back. I tried to fight them, I really did.
When we pulled back from each other, my sister cocked her head to the side and then did the sweetest thing. She reached up and brushed the tears off my cheek. Something that threatened more to fall in their absence.
God, she was beautiful inside and out.
I stood up as Janet walked over, said goodbye to Autumn, then opened the door and stepped out onto the porch. I waved at the Fosters which was ironic and rather funny that it was their last name when they were foster parents. It was meant to be that they cared for the children that needed them.
My gaze caught Lyric at the curb waiting for me and excitement bubbled through me. I couldn’t wait to tell him everything. Just then, tiny arms grabbed me around the legs holding them tightly. I looked up at Grace with pleading eyes. How was I going to walk out the door?
I ran my hand through Autumn’s silky, blonde hair. Then leaning down and taking a chance it would be okay, I kissed the top of her head. “I’m coming back tomorrow, I promise,” I whispered, looking down at her as she stared up at me.
She blinked and then a tear slid down her cheek. It crushed my soul. Somehow we had connected and neither of us wanted to break that connection right then. Just as she had me, I softly brushed the tear off her smooth cheek.
“I promise you, Autumn. I’m coming back tomorrow with the others. I will always come back for you.” My words were the same ones Lyric had said to me.
In her eyes, I could see the struggle and doubt, but her tiny head nodded once again communicating without words since she still hadn’t spoken a peep. I kissed her head one last time and she squeezed my legs, then let go. Grace walked over and gently took her hand.
“We will see you all tomorrow,” Grace said.
“See you tomorrow.” Then with one last look at Autumn, I walked away.
But it wouldn’t be for long.
When the door shut behind me, Janet was standing there with her own eyes misty with tears. “That my dear went better than I hoped. And while you were saying goodbye, I spoke with Grace and Daniel. We agreed that if tomorrow goes as well and Autumn wants to go home with you, then we think she should.”
My heart soared.
“Really?”
