“Please, Alec,” she begged, a shudder racing through her, voice cracking. “I can’t wait.”
He knew because he was right there with her.
He flipped her, pinned her beneath him, and drove into her with powerful, relentless strokes until she shattered—crying out, clutching him—while he shouted and poured himself into her, completely undone.
***
She lay pressed against his side, their legs tangled in the sheets, her skin damp, her breath shallow, still trembling. Alec’s arms wrapped around her—a solid, steady presence.
The room smelled of cedar, sex, and something darker. Something like surrender.
Hers.
She couldn’t think. Her body still echoed with the force of him—his confidence, the way he’d commanded her so easily and made her come apart. Let her actually. But only when he was ready.
It was amazing. Nowhere near to boring. But the doubts crept in, quiet and persistent. He made her disappear into sensation, into obedience, into something that wasn’t grief or fear or guilt. It felt wrong, but also so right.
“I don’t know what’s happening to me,” she whispered. “I feel broken.”
He brushed her hair back and kissed her temple. “You’re not broken,” he said. “You’ve been carrying too much alone. You’re surviving.”
She swallowed around the lump in her throat, admitting, “I want this. The way you take control. The way I can forget everything.”
“Good,” he murmured, his thumb stroking her jaw. “Let me be that for you.”
“But how is that fair? I feel like I’m using you. And what happens when the heat and intensity fade?”
“Who says they have to?” His voice was quiet, thoughtful. “You’re trying to separate what you need from who you are. That’s common for people new to the lifestyle. I went through the same struggle myself. But Alec the dom and Alec the man—they’re the same. I learned a long time ago that denying one meant losing both.”
“How did you come to accept it?”
“By finding others who’d lived through it too. People with the same doubts, the same shame, the same fear. Those feelings faded when I realized I wasn’t alone.” He traced a slow line along her jaw. “You’re thinking about usas a straight line. But we’re not. We’ve grown through every stage together—family, friends, lovers. Who says we can’t be all of those at the same time?”
She didn’t answer. Her heart pounded again, but not from sex.
“There are no rulebooks for this, Emily,” he said. “It’s up to us to decide how we move forward.”
She lay still, absorbing his words. His warmth. The possibility. She was beginning to understand what she needed. It was and always had been him.
Alec brushed his fingers down her arm, slow and deliberate. “When’s your next shift with Regina?”
Emily jolted upright, twisting toward him, paying no heed to the sheet slipping down her back. “With everything going on, I forgot to tell you—she’s letting me cook on Saturday.”
He smiled. “That’s huge, baby.”
“Yeah. She scares the crap out of me,” Emily admitted. “But I’ve been waiting forever for this chance. I really hope she’s not involved in all of this.”
“My gut says she’s not. She’s smarter than to use her own business for recruiting.”
“I hope you’re right,” she said, snuggling up to him again.
“I wrapped up all my cases,” Alec added. “I’m focused on you now. Which means I’m off tomorrow night, too.”
She tipped her head, meeting his gaze.
“I want you at the club,” he said. “We can relax. With D&A running security, you’re safe there.”
For a second, she forgot to breathe. “Are we going to play?”
